


The Quest

by Jacob_Matson



Series: Noble Lies [3]
Category: Last of the Mohicans (1992), Original Work, Our Mutual Friend - Charles Dickens
Genre: An artist is never poor, F/M, Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent, Take what you want - but pay for it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:40:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 37,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28999926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacob_Matson/pseuds/Jacob_Matson
Summary: The 2002 Volkswagen R32 was the most powerful Golf ever introduced, with a six speed manual transmission paired to a 250 hp V6 engine.  This special edition was first seen in southern California at Excelsior, the ultra exclusive private school where the Indian brothers attend.
Series: Noble Lies [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2127471





	1. Chattanooga Country Club

**Spring Break, Senior Year**

At the gathering after the charity doubles match, T. stood up and gave a speech. 

I'd like to personally thank everyone for coming and supporting a worthy cause. Now I want to do this by playing a composition that's been on my mind leading up to this tournament. I hope some of you will recognize it for what it is, he says, smiling at Judge and Rachel. Since the piece starts out one handed, it'll be a good fit, but I'll try my weakened hand as well. 

By your leave, he announces to the audience and sits down with no sheet music. 

Sara looks over at Jim worriedly across the crowd. He gives her a slight nod, indicating that it's alright. 

T. starts playing a one-handed jig, but soon stops when he misses a note with his bandaged hand thirty seconds in. He stands up and turns to the audience, and says quietly, "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak". The audience claps furiously anyway, while Sara is distracted by Brey, who is choked up. 

*** 

The tennis stadium is packed. A network television station has paid a quarter million dollars for the broadcast rights; all proceeds going to the Bethesda Naval Hospital. Tennis celebrities John MacEnroe and Pete Sampras announce the game and provide analysis to the TV audience.

The players walk on the indoor court in the center of the arena together. Sara and Teish shyly wave at each other, and walk alongside in silence, looking down at the freshly painted green concrete, while Jim and Ethan talk animatedly in front of them.

Ethan, I'm so glad you were there to help Sara through her dark night of the soul. It is an honor to meet you, and I've long wanted to shake your hand and tell you so. Their handshake turns into a man hug. 

Tell Sara not to play the net; you too for that matter when he's returning the serve. I don't know if he'll be able to hold back; it's the way he plays. 

Ethan looks at him seriously and nods in understanding. Good luck, and I look forward to talking to you more at the gala afterward, Jim. They shake hands again.

Ethan goes back to Sara, who's ready to serve, and whispers to her. She gives him a look, but nods curtly. Then rolls her eyes when she sees that he's staying back on the baseline with her. 

Jim whispers to T., remember what we've talked about: do not play Sara. This is for charity. And he walks back to the net.

Sara's first serve is light, and T. crushes it cross court. The audience applauds. 

Sara serves harder to Jim, who is barely able to get his racquet on it, and Ethan gets an easy put away at the net. The audience claps again. 

Sara serves hard to T. who slams it right back between her and Ethan, neither of them sure which will go for it, and the hesitation loses them the point. 

Jim lobs Sara's next serve over Ethan, and T. puts away her return at the net. 

Game point, T. hammers Sara's first serve down the baseline, and rushes the net to pounce on Ethan's off balance backhand return.

T. aces all his serves for the next game. And they break Ethan's serve, with Sara staying back at the baseline when it's T. returning, and going up to the net for Jim's returns. 

Jim has a kick serve, with lots of topspin, and T. lets nothing past the net.

At 6-0, the first set wasn't much of a contest. 

Sara is upset. 

I'm not here to play hit and giggle tennis. I want to win. We've got to play the net and force T. to make mistakes. Ethan counters that T. might not be able to check himself, and it could get ugly. Let's find out, she says determinedly.

They switch courts, and Jim catches Sara's eye and shakes his head no at her when he sees her go up to the net for Ethan's serve. She ignores him. And then slams a weak lob that T. tried to go over her. 1-0. Jim's serve. 1-1. T.'s serve 1-2. Sara's serve 1-3. Ethan's serve 2-3, as T. again tries to go over her or cross court, but the angle isn't there, as Ethan serves to his forearm. Jim's serve 2-4. 

Sara's serve. She's angry, and later in the game deliberately rockets an overhead smash into Jim's leg. Who makes no expression, even as the audience gasps, but just hobbles back to the baseline. 

T. is furious, and his next return hits the net. Sara aces Jim, who can barely move. And goes on to win her serve, with T. either hitting the net or hitting too deep. 3-5. 

T. double faults most of his serves, although he does get in a few second serve aces that neither Sara or Ethan can get their racquets on. 4-5.

Ethan's serve. Sara goes up to the net, and Jim looks up at the line judge and asks for a break. Then limps up to Sara. Don't do it, Sara. Get back. She ignores him. He hobbles over to his brother. Don't you dare go headhunting. Let it go. The audience looks worried. And Sara easily puts away T.'s lob, and smiles wickedly. 5-5. 

Jim's serve, and he can barely move. 6-5. 

Sara's serve 7-5.

Ethan goes up to Jim. Should we call it a draw? Jim smiles at him and clasps him on the shoulder. I surely would like to, but I want my brother to leave his anger on the court. Better play it out. Ethan nods. I'm sorry she hit you. She's ruthless when she's playing tennis. Jim waves it off: part of the game.

Jim loses his serve, unable to give it the kick spin, and it's weak enough that Sara and Ethan are able to play around T. 0-1. Ethan loses his serve, as T. seems to have regained his cool, and is making low percentage shots, going around Sara and winning the points. 1-1. T. aces his serve. 2-1. Sara's serve is a battle, but it's break point when finally T. gets the opportunity he's been looking for and clobbers Ethan when he and Sara rush the net together. 

The audience gasps as Ethan gets hit in the chest. He has the wind knocked out of him. T. waits at the baseline, and adjust the strings on his racquet, while Sara helps her shaken partner to his feet. Jim has his hands in his hair, and looks anxious. Then he claps his hand to his racquet, and looks up at the audience, and they join him in applause as Ethan gets back to his feet and nods at Sara. Jim looks back at his brother and then hobbles over to the net, and offers his hand to Ethan, who takes it, and they walk off the court together. 2-2. Sara motions me-you, to T. who nods. She serves and he crushes it. 2-3. He aces all his serves. 2-4. Her serve and she charges the net after. He easily plays around her, until its 0-40, then winds up on break point and lances her in the arm as she rushes the net. The audience is stunned. She bites her lips hard and doesn't cry; just picks up the racquet she's dropped. There's an angry welt on her arm. 2-5. Then goes back to the line. Where he aces all his serves. 2-6. Match. There's a faint smattering of applause, and Sara bursts into tears as she approaches the net to shake his hand. 

What happened to you, Teisha? He says nothing and walks off the court looking straight ahead.

***

_That's what I see happening, if we play this game straight, brother._

T. is listening in silence, picturing it in his mind. 

You'll have lost her good opinion forever, and might even destroy her future career. 

So how do you want me to play it, Jim?

A couple weeks before the match, you need to sprain your left wrist. No, don't actually do it. Just fake it and go see the athletic trainer with the list of symptoms I'll give you. You'll wear a blue athletic bandage on that wrist, and serve underhand. You'll still crush the returns and make incredible passing shots, and make Sara work for each of the overhead lobs when she's at the net. We still might win, but either way, it'll make for great tennis for the fans. And after the game, win or lose, you'll hug her, and smile and tell her that you've missed her, and that you wish her well. Then the ball will be in her court. Even if she sticks with Brey, she's always going to remember you as her first love, and you'll have a nationwide fan base to launch your pro career.

So how do I let her know what I'm feeling? T. asks finally. 

I'll arrange it with her uncle so that you'll give the welcoming speech at the country club afterwards. You'll show them that healing is possible, and play the jig from Last of the Mohicans, one handed, maybe finish it, if you can with the bandaged wrist. It'll be subtle, but someone there will get it, and she'll learn of it, she'll understand and admire you the more for your restraint.

I'll start practicing, T. says, as they pull up to the gate of the manse.


	2. The Reception

Alyssa is tanned and glowing with health. She's still quiet, but has this confident self-assurance that makes her seem older than she is. She's content for Sara to be the star, and is willing to support her as she handles the demands of fame. 

In the arena, she sat with her uncle, both of them wearing sunglasses, Alyssa sporting a gingham bucket hat.

The TV cameras spot them and zoom in. 

That is Sara's roommate and best friend, Alyssa. And the man next to her that looks like Jack Nickolson must be her uncle.

That's a good one, Pete. He does look like Nickolson at the Laker games, doesn't he, with his sunglasses and power suit with no tie, MacEnroe laughs. 

The camera moves on to Raymond and Dev, who see themselves on the big screen and kiss. Those around them applaud. 

They act like teenagers, don't they, the announcers laugh. You'd never guess that he's a real estate magnate in SoCal.

***

Alyssa watched while Sara and Teish said an awkward and shy hello and kept a distance between them as they walked onto the court; while Jim and Ethan seemed to bond right away as they walk to center court, talking, then shaking hands. 

He's a good sport, she notes, as Jim applauds Sara when she makes a spectacular put away at the net. And he's a solid tennis player, nothing flashy, but consistently returns the ball, letting the other team debate on whether to try to pass T., who did a phenomenal job of poaching at the net. 

The Indian brothers won 6-4. 6-2. 

The audience and commentators enjoyed the match, and gave them a standing ovation at the end, as T. jumped the net to hug Sara, after which she gave him another hug, and they talked animatedly as Jim and Ethan approached to hand them their tennis bags. 

The pictures would show them with their arms around each other's shoulders, Sara smiling at him and T. with his head back laughing, looking like the lifelong friends that they would become.

***

After T.'s brilliant piano recital to open the gala, which left Brey in tears, Alyssa looked around expecting to see Jim with Sonya, but she was hugging T. near the piano. 

The audience still too nervous and wary to approach him.... just in case he relapsed. 

She looked around the room. Saw Brey and Sara surrounded by fans and well wishers. Saw her uncle in deep conversation with Judge and Rachel.

Raymond and Dev approach her, and she abruptly gives Dev a hug, who hugs her right back fiercely. Then Alyssa offers Raymond her hand, who gallantly kisses it, and gets a playful swat on the shoulder from his wife's clutch. 

I take it you know who we are, and aren't in the habit of greeting strangers this way, Raymond teases. Alyssa nods. 

I've admired the way you and Sara have handled your fame to date. 

Sara gets the spotlight; I hide in her shadow, Alyssa explains demurely. 

So Alyssa, Dev asks, what are your plans after graduation? Are you going to be an actress like Sara? She shakes her head no. 

I've been accepted at Wheaton College. 

What are you looking to study? Raymond asks. 

I haven't declared a major. It's a liberal arts school, so I've got a two year core curriculum to work through while I decide; but I'm leaning towards Psychology, possibly minoring in Christian ministries. Dev nods at this, then touches her arm. 

Jim's been accepted at Hillsdale, and is planning on majoring in Economics. 

I didn't know that; thank you for telling me. 

She clasps her hands in front of her, gives them a fleeting smile, and looks off toward a corner, not wanting to face them, afraid of what they might see. Dev starts to choke up, and her husband puts his arm around her, and asks Alyssa to excuse them. 

Alyssa looks around and sees Jim and Ethan talking quietly in a corner; Jim explaining that Hillsdale is the conservative Harvard; after Ethan told him that he's been accepted at the actual Harvard, and that Alyssa is going to the evangelical Harvard. All three of us going to Harvard, 'to each his own' Ethan notes wryly. Jim sees her looking at him, excuses himself, and walks straight over to her.

Hello, Alyssa. I was hoping I'd see you here. May I get you something to drink? 

No thank you. She looks down at the floor. 

I'd really like to talk, if you've got a moment. There's so much I'd like to say, but it can and will wait if you've other commitments. 

She looks up at him with a shy smile. 

Lets go for a walk on the green. 

She sees him nod to his brother and Sonya as they head out.

When they get outside, and they walk slowly down the paved trail that meanders through the golf course. Jim looks over at her and smiles. 

You look amazing, and yet different. I have this memory that haunts me – how I left you sitting in the driveway. I knew I hurt you then, and felt horrible for doing so.

I used the change of scene in California as a chance to work on myself; I'm trying to be more affable and outgoing, although I still find myself reticent with strangers. It was only after I got Beatrice into that car that I started to feel better about myself. She was an angel sent to take me out of purgatory. (He pauses)

Everything you said then was true. That I was afraid to declare my true feelings for you. And then you wounded my pride when you said that at least Teisha had the guts to go after Sara. You don't know what he's just done for her, so I'll tell you. 

He's been faking a sprained wrist for several weeks so she couldn't compete against him, which not only allowed all the fans to enjoy the match, but also for them to part as friends. (He pauses)

Alyssa, I'm so sorry for the things I said and how I treated you. I've repented in dust and ashes since, and tried to be more worthy of you. I'm crazy about you. Have been since the first day of school when you sat next to me in Literature class. (He chuckles to himself at the memory)

Remember my letter to your uncle? _There are no accidents, only appointments_. I'm glad we met then, and I'm grateful for the chance to be able to apologize now, and confess my unbounded admiration for you. Ahhhh....he sighs. Unburdened at last. (He smiles at her)

I'm not a prisoner of hope; you don't need to say anything to gratify my feelings. And he chuckles to himself as he pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head. 

She doesn't say anything and they keep walking slowly straight ahead. 

May I take you back to the gala? He asks quietly after awhile - we've come a long ways.

No, you may not. She says suddenly. Now shush, eyes forward, hold my hand as we walk, and let me say my piece, handsome.

I was crushed when you left that night. You held a mirror up to me, and I didn't like what I saw. My uncle told me that you were acting out, and what you said was an egregious falsehood, but I knew some of it was true. I decided to reinvent myself when I went back to the Academy. So I withdrew and tried to be like you, all quiet and reserved. I read your book, Our Mutual Friend, and cried for a week, because I realized that you were testing me. Brey was so worried about me that he asked out Sara to cheer me up. And we all know how that turned out. 

Then Sara introduced me to The Count of Monte Cristo, and I decided that if we ever had another chance, I'd get it right. The more I read about you in the papers, the more I admired you. How you helped Beatrice, and then set the scene for her to save your job. How you bought that little car when you could have had a Porsche like Brey. How you took your friend Sonya to the Governors Ball instead of the popular girl. How you ruined your nice clothes working on a bus. And I hated myself for being so blind when I was up north, for not seeing through the wooden Indian façade.

When my uncle offered to get you a scholarship to the Academy, you asked that he give it to Sara instead. That mystified me. So he defends me, but doesn't want to be close to me? And yet he wants to help my best friend. I wanted to fly out to CA to see you. But my uncle talked me out of it, said that there was always college.

When I heard about Teish's piano meltdown, I insisted on going. I know I can help him. My uncle had to tell me the whole story. And how you and he were going to set up a tennis doubles match for charity to help your brother get closure with Sara. 

I'm still selfish and manipulative. I told him that this benefit needed to have a gala afterwards. I wanted to see you, and see if you would notice me. Or if you would only see the old me and reject me again, or worse, ignore me.

Thank you for your confession. It means everything to me. I'm quite ready to fall in love with you, but only if you know how to line dance.

I'm looking for a Marlboro man too, she says swinging their intertwined hands up, doing a spin to face him.

You'll have to teach me, he tells her.

They walk back together holding hands. The pictures would show her line dancing next to him, wearing white Converse sneakers.


	3. Chicago

_Private dinner after commencement @ Judge and Rachel's_ ****

Alyssa, why didn't your uncle come to your graduation? Rachel asks her, and then adds, I was looking forward to talking with him again. He's such a fascinating man.

We didn't ask him to, Alyssa replies. He's a recluse, and my brothers and I respect that. Our family looks out for each other. 

My parents worship Nelson, Breidyn interjects. My mom is the director of HR for this giant construction company, and travels all over the world. She was in an airport lounge on a long layover a couple weeks ago, and was talking family with some of the guys - when this formidable CEO, who was sitting nearby with a legal pad making notes, heard her mention that Nelson is sending Tyler and I to the BMW off road motorcycle course as a graduation present. 

His head snapped up, and he got up and took my mom aside, and told her the story of a young hotshot executive who left a meeting in tears after being whipped by the force of Nelson's intellect. Nelson asked the guy a series of yes or no questions. He was relentless and it was brutal. 

Then the CEO told my mom: "I was that guy. That was years ago, and I've never come to a meeting unprepared since, and always look at the assumptions of my subordinates as they present to me. The man is a legend. I've long wanted to meet him again and tell him thanks. Tell him I said hi".

The way he introduced himself was hilarious, Judge adds. He came up to us at the get together after the tennis benefit, and said "Judge Whitaker, I'm D.A. Nelson". And we looked at him and laughed. He grinned, and told us that he was named after the Italian poet, Dante Alighieri. "Now you know why I have everyone call me Nelson. Although I have become a serious student of his work; with a name like mine, it's something of a necessity". And he asked my wife if she was familiar, and which was her favorite canto. And of course, Rachel studied it in college. 

Rachel cuts in. We found him to be very engaging, and had a pleasant conversation, until my grandson mentioned politics, and how the Democrats are going to ruin this country, and the President was using Sara to win the midterms. "Don't you agree, sir?", she says, imitating her grandson's tonality. 

Ethan - the First Lady wags her finger at him. 

Everyone laughs.

What did he say? the President asks. 

That politics didn't interest him, Ethan replies, his face flushed with embarrassment. Then he asked me if I was a spiritual person. My grandparents laughed so hard. 

The President puts a hand to his face and chuckles for a long time.

So Sara, when does your movie start filming in Florida? The First Lady asks her. 

The cast is getting together next week to do a read through, Sara replies.

What are your plans, Alyssa? The First Lady asks. 

I'm going to be in Florida with Sara for the summer. 

I thought you weren't going to be an actress? Rachel says surprised. 

I'm not...I got a job as a nanny. 

I have to tell this story, Sara interrupts, ignoring her friend's look of surprise.

So I got to meet the CEO of Disney, "call me Michael", he tells me, at the gala after the tennis benefit, and he tells me that he's got just the movie for me, a modern day retelling of Shakespeare's 12th Night. That he wants me the play the lead. And then he asks to meet my best friend Alyssa. Who just came back inside holding hands with Jim. So I drag her away from him, and introduce her to Michael, who I can see is already regretting his offer to cast me as Viola. 

Everyone laughs. 

And he asks her if she would like to be an actress, and she whispers something in his ear and then kisses him on the cheek, and he is just astonished. Then she thanks him for giving me the opportunity, and tells him that I will make his company a lot of money, and that he'd better do right by her friend. Then she excuses herself, and walks over and takes Jim's hand again, and they went line dancing; I'm sure you've seen the pictures.

And I don't think anything more of it until next week. As I'm coming into our dorm room one evening, after dinner with Brey's parents, and I hear her raising her voice. "I'm NOT interested". Then she listens to whoever is on the other end of the line for a little while longer. Then says coldly: "keep your money, Mephistopheles". And she hangs up, and throws the phone on the bed, just disgusted. 

Who was that? I ask her. "Just a pest". Then she tells me that she's going to Florida with me for the summer. "You need someone to watch your back, till they realize who you are...the Dread Sara".

And of course, I'm just so delighted that my best friend is coming with me, that I completely forgot about the phone call, as we started to make plans. 

So a couple days later, the phone rings and I get it. It's Michael, the Disney CEO, and he asks if he might talk to Alyssa. I tell her who it is, and she says she's busy. 

I'm shocked, but manage to tell him that she cannot come to the phone right now. "Put her on, or you're fired", he tells me brusquely. "Please", I beg her. She picks up. "This is Alyssa", she says really seriously. And listens to what he has to say. Then she says in a softer voice: "thank you; I'm touched by your offer. Will you give me the weekend to think about it? I want to talk with my uncle before I decide". He must have agreed because she said goodnight, and called him, "SIR". 

The others chuckle at this. 

Sara, may I talk to you for a minute? Alyssa interrupts. They leave the table, and Brey picks up the lull in the conversation, and asks the President if he ever gets stage fright, being up there in front of everyone. 

When they return several minutes later, everyone at the table is choked up, and Rachel is crying, after Breidyn answered the First Lady's question of what piece T. tried to play on the piano at the gala. 

_It was the dance scene from Last of the Mohicans._

As Sara and Alyssa sit down, they hear Breidyn say, I think only Sonya and I got it. 

Sara looks chastened. I'm sorry, everyone. But I cannot finish the story. It's not mine to tell. The table looks over at her dumbfounded, but she has her head down. Everyone looks over at Alyssa. 

Sara is my best friend, and I love her, she tells them, as she rubs her back. But I want to live a private life. I trust Ethan and Brey. But the rest of you are strangers to me, and I haven't formed an opinion of you, although I'm predisposed to like you because you care about my friend. 

She pauses as if making a decision.

Alright, just this once, I'll take you into my confidence and tell the story, for Sara's sake. And she suddenly reaches over and starts tickling Sara, who squirms and starts shrieking. Alyssa says in a deep voice: "Ticklemonster like Dread Sara". 

The others burst out laughing; the tension at the table is gone. 

But I'm going to need to rely on your discretion, she says getting serious again, looking over at Judge and Rachel, who nod, their eyes shining, and then over at the President and the First Lady. The First Lady nods eagerly, and elbows her husband, who ignores her and stares back at Alyssa. They stare at each other for ten seconds, then Alyssa puts down her napkin on the table and gets up from her seat. 

Thank you for dinner. 

The President chuckles and shakes his head. You win, Alyssa. You have my word as an officer and a gentleman.

Pushover, she tells the table as she sits down again. 

They all gape at her in wonder at her audacity. 

He gestures to the others at the table. In addition to Alyssa's tale, it needs to be kept top secret that the President of the United States was just stared down by a young lady of the highest caliber. 

The others chuckle. 

Just for that, I'm going to fill in some blanks that even my best friend doesn't know, she says, beaming at the President.

Okay, the gala. So Jim and I had just gotten back from our walk, and my heart is filled with joy. He confessed his feelings for me, and then said so modestly that he wasn't a prisoner of hope and started to laugh at himself. Needless to say, we worked it out. 

The others chuckle, amazed at how animated Alyssa has become.

Then Sara snatches me away from my man, and introduces me to some suit. I brushed him off, and told him the only role I was interested in was being a wife and a mother. Then I danced the night away with Jim. 

She smiles and sighs dramatically, then returns to telling the story.

I didn't think any more about it. So I was shocked when the early the next week, Michael calls me up one evening in the dorm, while Sara is out. And he pitches the supporting actress role. And tells me how he thinks I'd be perfect as Olivia.

I firmly decline, she says looking around the table. Then he tells me that he's prepared to pay DOUBLE what he's offering Sara if I'll take the role. I didn't bother being polite, and hung up on him. 

The others are shocked, Sara included, mouths open.

I made a mental note to talk to my uncle about getting Sara a new agent, and decided that the film business is a sewer, and I had better keep an eye on my friend. 

The others are staring intently, and Sara starts to choke up. Alyssa rubs her arm, and looks over at her. 

So now you understand why I didn't want to take his call several days later. But he told me that he's talked to his wife, and they'd love for me to be their special guest for the summer, and help look after their two young daughters. And that he'd still pay me the same as he offered before. And Sara told you my response.

Now, my uncle and I go to the early church service every Sunday, and then have brunch at the club. It's our time. One of the reasons I decided to go to Wheaton is because it's close enough to home that we'll be able to keep up our ritual.

So I told him about the offers, and how Sara needs to get a new agent, and would he handle it? He asked me what I want out of this. 

I want to spend the summer with my best friend, and see her get planted firmly and off to a great start before I head off to college. I really don't care about the money – you've been so generous and have given me everything I could ever want.

He thought about it for five minutes, and then told me to ask Michael to fly me down to meet his daughters the next weekend.

If he sends you tickets to fly commercial or has someone meet you, he's trash. But if he sends his private plane, and comes himself, then I'll negotiate with him. 

And so the next weekend, Michael came himself on his private jet, and I got to meet his wife and daughters, who I fell in love with. And Michael and my uncle eventually reached an understanding, and Sara has a new contract, and she's going to stay with us when she's not on set. 

The end, she says abruptly.

The table is silent as they take this in, and realize just how much she's done for her friend without her knowing it.

Alyssa, I want you and your uncle to negotiate with the Russians for me, the President finally says, and the table just cracks up laughing.

Rachel looks over at her seriously. Alyssa, honey, if I may, you're awfully young to be deciding on a man, she says. I just don't want to see you get hurt. There's too much that can happen, especially as you are going to different colleges. 

Everyone looks at Alyssa, who nods seriously. 

Thank you for saying that. After Sara and I got back to school from the tennis benefit, I stayed up all night and wrote Jim a letter which laid out some ground rules. If Jacob could wait seven years to marry his Rachel in the Old Testament, then you can at least wait till we graduate from college. I told him that he wasn't allowed to kiss me until we were engaged, and he couldn't propose until he had his first paycheck; that he's not going to support me off of family money, and that he's free to go out with any girl to any social event he wanted until we got engaged. If he meets someone else, or if I cannot keep him interested in me, then at least we'll always have Chattanooga. And I signed my letter, Love, Allie. P.S. I'd rather he write me than call. I don't want to have to be waiting by the phone, answering it on the first ring, hoping that it was him.

How did he respond? The President asks curiously. 

Alyssa laughs. He's such a funny guy. He's a lot like my uncle, in that people only see his game face and get the wrong impression. But...I'm talking too much now. I guess you'll have to wait and see, she tells him, as she smiles demurely, looking down at the table.

So what do you think of her ground rules? Rachel asks Sara, who has been listening intently. 

I think she's brilliant. But it's too late for me to use them. I just cannot keep my hands off this man, and she leans over and gives Brey a quick kiss. And they smile at each other. 

Ethan, what do you think? The First Lady asks. 

He looks over at her and says dryly, there isn't a spot market on feedback. Then he turns to Alyssa. Thank you for trusting me. You've given me a lot to think about. 

His grandfather nods at him in approval.

You know what I think, Alyssa interrupts. That you - pointing at Rachel - have a cook named Babette. 

Rachel looks horrified. I'll have you know that I prepared this meal myself, she protests. 

Ethan and Sara howl with laughter. The others look puzzled and eventually start to chuckle as well, as Ethan cannot get control of himself. 

There's this movie we watched this past semester in AP French, called Babette's Feast, Sara tells everyone. I told Alyssa about how good it was, and she watched it with subtitles.

El Breydon y La Alicia habla Espanol....la lengua de amor, Alyssa says, trilling her r's, and they bump fists. 

Whatever, Sara says dismissively, and launches into an explanation of the movie. 

So this French cook in a poor household wins the lottery, a princely sum, back in the late 1800s, and she starts to put together the ingredients for a sumptuous meal for the two spinsters she works for, who think that she's going to leave them now that she's rich.

There's twelve guests invited to the feast. Almost all are strict Puritans, like the sisters, and conspire together to just eat the meal, and refuse to enjoy or even praise the upcoming feast, an amazing seven course meal replete with wines, as they perceive it to be sinful extravagance.

But the two guests who are from out of town aren't in on this, and wax ecstatic about the food and drink, and tell the story of a famous Parisian chef, a woman, who it was said, not only cooked for the body, but also for the soul. And how she disappeared fourteen years ago. 

And it turns out to be a magical evening, where discord turns into harmony, old friendship are renewed, and understanding comes to all. 

The next day, the two old sisters are just dismayed to find out that Babette spent her entire winnings on the meal. Only to have Babette tell them: _an artist is never poor_. 

I cried so hard, and rushed up to hug Mdms. Sophie; she is the best French teacher ever. And that's how I aspire to be as an actress, making a gift to my audience.

Ethan cuts in. The movie really spoke to me too. I got choked up at this scene where the French general is looking at himself in the mirror, getting ready to go to the dinner, his uniform covered in medals, and saying over and over again, all is vanity. 

You learn that he and one of the sisters were in love thirty five years ago, but he chose wrong. It was so cool to watch as meal rekindles the memories of their former love and how they come to an understanding. But I took it as a warning, not as an example.

I don't want that to be me, he tells the table. 

Alyssa gives him a hug with one arm and puts her head on his shoulder. It won't, she assures him. 

The others are touched at this gesture. 

Ticklemonster like Ethan, she says in a deep voice, slowly spreading her arms, as she gets ready to pounce. 

The table bursts out in raucous laughter.

Later on, The President and First Lady get up to leave to go to their hotel. 

Let's get together at the White House and watch your movie when it's done, Sara. Bring your friends. Alyssa, top secret, remember? 

I do declare - How could I possibly forget, sir, that you are an officer and a gentlemen, she replies in Southern Belle.

As Alyssa, Sara, Ethan, and Brey walk out to her Jeep, they hear a Secret Service agent say into his microphone: _Ticklemonster and Dread Sara outbound, with two male victims._


	4. California

**At the manse, the week after graduation**

Breidyn and Tyler, I so envy you. That is such a great way to spend the summer, exploring Mexico on your dirt bikes. And what better way to imprint your high school Spanish than total immersion, Dev tells them over dinner. 

We just want to enjoy life and just chill and hang out, Brey explains. Most of our friends are making plans for college, and looking for summer "internships", and just aren't living in the moment.

Raymond, I'm leaving you for a younger man, Dev declares. We're running off to Mexico. 

Everyone bursts out laughing. 

You'll call me if you have any difficulties, her husband tells them. After the meal, you're going to bring your boots into my study. And you'll each write my private number on the inside of your boots with a permanent marker, just in case. If I get a collect call, I'll come with the cavalry, he tells them seriously. 

Although I'll charge a pound of flesh for bail money, if you get in that kind of trouble, he adds with a grin.

If you get in a fight though, take your helmet off and throw it toss it at your opponent's head as he gets close. He'll cover up, then you can hit him in the gut and knock the wind out of him. 

Dev shakes her head and sighs. My husband, the Hell's Angel. Now you know why I married him. 

When the laughter dies down, she asks Scott what his plans are. 

I've got a soccer scholarship at Wheaton in the fall. But I want to work with my hands this summer. I really enjoyed my woodshop class up north last fall. I've been thinking about volunteering with Habitat for Humanity back home, and helping fix up houses. 

Dev gives her husband a look. 

Tyler asks how T. is getting along at the Bollettieri Tennis Academy. 

Raymond shakes his head in disgust.

There's more to life than just obsessing about playing a game. I wish he was going with you on your bike trip. 

_Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent_ , Jim responds, defending his brother obliquely.

Where is that from? Tyler asks. 

It's a Calvin Coolidge quote, his brother Scott responds. What Jim chose not to say is how it starts: _the world is full of educated derelicts_. 

The table looks over at him in surprise. 

Meal good, he grunts. 

Dev laughs and looks over at her husband. I think that you are going to stay with us this summer. I like to surround myself with strong and intelligent men, she says airily. I dare you to say no to me.

He smiles and looks down at the table. Thank you; you've very generous. If you still feel the same after I've stayed here for three days, then perhaps we can come to an arrangement. Then he gives her a serious look. But I'll need to earn my own bread so I can respect myself. 

She smiles at him. 

Jim, what are your plans for the summer? Brey asks him. Want to get in on this? Alyssa told me that you are fluent in Spanish and that you're quite the motorcycle mechanic. We could use you.

Three is a crowd, Jim tells him. You won't need a crutch. But I thank you for your offer. My plans are still being formed, and will be revealed in the fullness of time. 

Jim looks over at Scott, and asks him if he'd be willing to test drive his R32. It would be offended to be driven by someone with lesser sensibilities, he says, politely snubbing the bikers. 

Scott grins. 

If you'll excuse us, then, Jim says getting up. He stands behind his chair and nods to each in turn, then walks over and kisses his aunt on the check, and whispers in her ear, I'd like to speak to you and Raymond alone, later, when I get back. 

She nods, and pats his hand.

***

Jim, I really like this car; it's quite the sleeper.

Exactly, Jim says. I'd like you to have the use of it for the summer. I'm going away soon. 

Let me guess - to Florida, Scott says grinning. 

Jim doesn't say anything, and strokes his chin. 

I need to take you into my confidence. We are very much alike, you and I. 

Scott looks over at him, surprised, and raises his eyebrows. 

I once loved your sister without hope. Just as you now love Sara. 

I sent her away to the Academy with a noble lie, that I didn't care for her, when I was crazy about her. And in the interim, I worked so hard to make myself worthy of her: Nyush became Jim. 

And during our walk on the golf course after the tennis benefit, I was finally able to confess my boundless admiration for her. I told her that she didn't have to say anything to gratify my feelings. But then she made me the happiest man in the world. I couldn't believe that someone of her caliber could love me. 

He's silent for a minute. 

When I got her letter with her ground rules for our relationship, it got me thinking. What if my mother loved me too, and didn't just abandon us like I'd been told growing up. And that insight gave me the breakthrough I needed. 

By the way, asking your uncle for his help to find my mother was just a misdirect, a means to give him an honorable way out of his dilemma of whether to reward or punish me for what I had done. 

Another noble lie, Scott interrupts. Teish was there too at the shootout; you guys went everywhere together. 

Jim nods. 

Yes, he was. T. told me afterwards that he was about to pull the trigger on the treacherous pilot when the dying man finished him off. My brother has the killer instinct; if you ever watch him play tennis, you'll see him let it out. Sara has it too...which is why I had my brother fake his sprained wrist at the tennis benefit. 

Scott takes this in.

Now back to my tale of why I'm going to be leaving soon, Jim says. 

What if my mother had written us a letter to explain why she left? Where would she hide it? And it finally occurred to me that there might have been another reason she got us our German shorthaired pointer just before she left. 

So I spend a considerable amount of time and money tracking down the breeder before graduation. And sure enough, at what at what one time was the most exclusive and expensive GSP kennel in the country, there was an elderly bachelor who remembered a beautiful and kind Indian lady who showed up out of the blue and just had to have a puppy for her two young boys.

Money is not an issue, her husband said. Name your price; I'm not taking no for an answer, and he pulled out his checkbook. 

I don't do this for money, the breeder told them. I've got a two year wait list for each litter. Then she took him aside, and told him that she's dying of cancer, and wanted to give her boys something to remember her by when she's gone. 

And of course, I gave her a puppy, the breeder told me. 

I'm going to name him Argo, she told her husband, who was silent and stoical, and then went to wait in his truck after I tore up his check for ten thousand dollars. 

She gave me a hug, and asked me if I'd keep a letter for her oldest son. He'll find you someday, and will ask about me. 

Scott weeps silently as he drives the coastal highway.

And I asked the old gentleman if there was anything I could do for him, anything at all, just name it. And he said that he recognized me from the magazines. And told me that my mother would be proud of me. Then he asked me to come back and tell him her story, after I've put flowers on her grave.

I gave him my word that I would, Jim says gravely. 

There's a large manila envelope under the spare tire. It contains my mother's letter to me, and a letter I just wrote to your sister. When we get back home, I'm going to tell my aunt and uncle another noble lie, that I'm going on a vision quest with my uncle Toby. They won't be happy about it; but they'd forbid me from going if they knew the truth.

Scott, my mother was an Apache, and she went back to her high desert to die. I'm of the woods, and it's not a sure thing that I'll come back, especially since the dry season is here. I believe in my heart that I'll make it to her, and in any case I will honor her memory with my attempt. It's something I have to do now, while there's momentum.

Why are you going with your uncle Toby?

It turns out he's my real father.

They drive in silence for awhile. 

If I'm not back in forty days, do what you think best with the manila envelope. If this is too much of a burden, then feel free to tell my aunt what I've told you, but only after I've left. She's my mother's younger sister, and she'll understand.

I'll go with you, Scott says abruptly. 

I appreciate the sentiment, but this is sacred, both for my father and me. 

If you would stay with my aunt and uncle though, and be prepared to act as my executor if it goes bad, this would be a great comfort to me as I face what lies ahead. 

They shake hands before they get out of the car at the manse. 


	5. Twelfth Night

**The first day of filming**

The renown director, Carson Clay, has assembled all the cast. 

So our prima donna is fashionably late, he fumes. Then he starts yelling. 

If you cannot be on time, be early. 

You've done several read-throughs on your own, and you know each other by name now, and are starting to think that you've made some new friends.

He shakes his head.

Forget about hanging out together afterwards. You will stay in character 24/7 while you attached to this project. This isn't a job; it's a calling. 

Now if I hear ANYONE refer to Viola as Sara, or to Duke as Sean, or to Olivia as Kiera...that'll be it for you, you'll be off the picture. I demand your total commitment to your roles. 

And know this...you are just my finger puppets. It is my vision that will make this movie great, and when you need a wheelbarrow to cart away all the awards they are going to pile on you, you'll know in your heart who deserves the credit, and he thumps his chest to emphasize his point. 

Now I'm going to run you through the ringer. We're going to shoot multiple takes until I see some authenticity. Develop a thick skin, because I'm going to be constantly critiquing you. Great art can only come from passion and dedication. No one understands this better than me. I've devoted my life to...

There's a commotion from outside the gathered group, and Toby steps into the inner circle holding an old tomahawk. 

You're in my chair, he tells the director. Who hurriedly moves away, and looks around for security.

Stick around and listen up, Toby commands, as he takes a seat. 

The cast shrinks back. 

He reaches into one of the cargo pockets of his field jacket and takes out a glass vial full of dirt, which he sprinkles into his left palm, and throws the vial on the floor, where it shatters. He then cuts the meaty part of his thumb with the tomahawk, and blood seeps out and mixes with the dirt. And he clenches the head of his tomahawk in his fist.

I make an oath of blood and soil, bound by iron. You bear witness. My tomahawk will taste the flesh of any who disrespect my white daughter. Women are sacred among my people.

He lets this statement sink in for thirty seconds. Then he continues. 

Before I led the warriors of ILF, I worked for the CIA in Afghanistan, fighting the Soviets. 

He pulls a large gaudy ring with a Cyrillic inscription from his field jacket and holds it up in his bloody and dirty hand for everyone to see. 

This belonged to a Spetnaz colonel who killed my adopted daughter, Fatima, along with her whole mountain village. He thought his helicopters and his tanks and his firebase full of elite paratroopers would protect him. Just as you think that your private security, your wealth, and your influential friends will protect you. 

It calms me to look at it, he tells them, as he strokes the ring with his bloody fingers for awhile.

He gets up suddenly, and puts the ring and tomahawk away. 

White chief, please resume your rightful place at the head of the council fire. Make a picture that will scorch the eyes and sear the memory of all who see it. 

And he holds out his bloody palm for the director to press, which the director does earnestly, marveling at the eloquence of this primitive man. 

Carry on, my white brother. I'm going to Mexico now, on a sacred vision quest.

The director resumes his seat, as Toby walks away. The cast parts and stares after him.

***

Sara shows up half an hour later.

Sorry, everyone. Michael insisted on taking Alyssa and I to breakfast. 

He's my boss, she shrugs, and holds her hands out, as if to say, what can I do. 

What did I miss? she says excitedly. This is going to be so much fun. 

Sara, may I get you something to drink? Her costar Sean asks. 

Thank you, a water to sip would be perfect. 

He rushes away.

I brought one that's cold and one that's room temperature. 

That is so considerate, letting me choose. She kisses him on the cheek. You are so sweet; I knew I was going to like you; I totally get why they cast you as Duke. And she beams at him. 

I like you too, Sara, he says nervously.

Actors, take your marks. Now, Sara, if you get tired at all, just say the word, and we'll take a break.

She gapes at him. 

You are so thoughtful. I'm so blessed to be working with someone of your caliber.

I like you too, Sara, he says quickly.

I'm really nervous, she confesses. I have to go the bathroom. Can you tell me where one is? She says in a small voice, embarrassed. 

Take five, everyone, the director commands, as he escorts Sara to her dressing room.

***

When the first day of shooting wraps early, Sara tells Alyssa about it as they lounge around the Olympic sized pool at Michael's palatial mansion, while Cora and Alice are swimming laps. 

They couldn't have been nicer to me. I had so much fun. But Alyssa, get this, they all seemed nervous around me.

Well, I am the Dread Sara, after all. 

Alyssa nods at her. And don't let them forget it, she tells her friend. 

She looks down at her wards. Did you do ten? 

They nod eagerly, looking for her approval. 

That's the number of testing. And you passed; I knew you would. 

Now let's make Sara something to eat... 


	6. Star Weekly

**Photo Essay: Sara and Alyssa @ home**

Caption: _The Dread Sara stalks Michael's house._ The photo shows Sara outside a large glass window at night, backlight by the light off Michael's laptop, with her fangs raised and claws outstretched. He's reading emails, and is obviously startled as he turns around to look out the window behind him.

Sara, her eyes crinkled with silent laughter, as she replaces Alyssa's teddy bear with a stuffed animal skunk, that she is now cuddled up with on her bed. Alyssa's mouth is wide open drooling on the pillow, and she's got a night mask on. Henry James' book, Portrait of a Lady, is on the nightstand, with a bookmark 1/3 of the way through.

Sara working on memorizing her lines with Alyssa, who is holding a soccer ball, and acting out a scene, her face turned sideways with a cute grin, as Sara looks at her in astonishment.

The four girls playing pinochle around the kitchen table in the evening, with Cora keeping score with a crayon. And Alice trying to riffle shuffle, with disastrous results. Sara and Alyssa trying not to laugh.

A kitchen scene. There is a platter of burnt oatmeal raisin cookies sitting on the counter. Sara is gamely eating one, as Cora and Alice look over at her from where they are washing dishes. Alyssa is handing Sara a glass of milk, and biting her lip.

Sara and Alyssa swing dancing together, teaching Cora and Alice, who are also extended out in a slide.

A picture of Sara sleeping on the floor at the edge of the bed, with Alice and Cora on her bed, out cold.

Alyssa tickling the Dread Sara, as the little girls look on laughing.

A picture of Sara giving Michael a neck rub, as the family listens to Alyssa read from a Nancy Drew mystery, as she gets a foot rub from her wards.

A closeup of all four girls, heads together, smiling at the camera. 


	7. On Letterman

**The Late Show**

So Jaren, tell us the story of how you got those incredible pictures from inside the home of the Disney CEO. 

Well, Dave, as you know, before this, I was a struggling freelance photographer. And I just happened to be out on a scorcher of a day, and caught a silver Suburban pull into this boutique ice cream shop, and saw Alyssa and her two wards get out, along with her bodyguard, while another stayed in the idling SUV. 

So they went inside to have an ice cream cone. In the meantime, I'm getting dizzy outside in the heat, as there is no shade, and I don't have any water on me. 

When they came out 15 minutes later, I got this one incredible photograph as I passed out. 

Dave cues up a picture of the sidewalk, the legs and shoes of the girls. 

The audience laughs hilariously.

So I hear afterwards from my nurses at Mercy General that I'm now famous, as the other photographers filmed Alyssa as she ran over and helped me. I banged my head hard and got a concussion in addition to the heatstroke.

I'm sure you've seen the footage of her telling her wards to bring water, and how she grabbed her pocketknife and cut off the one of the legs of her Gramicci capris, and used it to make compresses to cool me down. And how she and her wards waited with me, my head in her lap while her charges held my hands until the ambulance came. And how she insisted on riding with "her boyfriend" to the hospital. 

Dave and the audience chuckle at this.

So I woke up to a pounding headache and blurry vision from the concussion. There were a dozen white carnations on the nightstand, and an envelope with this card inside. 

Dave cues up a picture of the card. 

GET WELL SOON in crayon block letters. On left hand inside is a hand-drawn butterfly, following Sara's signature in cursive. Then a unicorn with a long mane and tail drawn, following Alice's signature, then Cora's signature, with the 'O' in her name drawn as a sun with a smiley face in the middle. On the right hand inside is an inscription. 

_Jaren_ , _I hope and trust you are feeling better. I brought your camera home for safekeeping; come by the house later to get it back. Rest now. –Alyssa._

I had no idea that Mrs. E is an amateur photographer, and that she decided to capture a few moments around the house on Alyssa's new camera over the next couple of days. When I got the camera back, and uploaded the pictures on my computer, I was just shocked. But I knew that I had a property. And I ended up selling them for more than enough to pay my medical bills, and still have a nice cushion remaining till I find my next project. 

My phone has been ringing off the hook since. 

The audience claps at this happy ending.

I love Alyssa; she's so kind and considerate. 

And beautiful, Dave adds. 


	8. On the Set

**@ Sara's dressing room during a break**

I'm so jealous, Olivia tells Sara, as she flips through the magazine spread. 

You guys have so much fun. I'd love to meet Alyssa and her wards. 

Duke nods in agreement. 

Sara looks over at them. 

I know that she'd love you guys if she met you. But she's a very private person, and doesn't want any guests over at the house. 

Sara thinks for a minute. 

I've got an idea. Every Sunday morning Alyssa and I go to the early service at this old church; there's not many people there, just some old couples. It's really traditional, and you have to dress up very nice. You could meet us there. 

Not really my thing, Duke says skeptically. 

Not mine either, Sara confesses. 

I'll let you in on a little secret. The first Sunday we went, as we were leaving the chapel, Alyssa greeted "the minister" and thanked him for the word of encouragement. Then some old ladies grabbed her and insisted that she come downstairs for coffee. 

I told the minister that I'd like to talk to him when he has a minute. So after the receiving line is done, I told him that my best friend is very devout, and that while I'm not, I still want to be there for her like she's always been for me. And I'd like to do something for her in secret, with his permission. 

Olivia and Duke are listening intently.

_I'd like to pay the rent for our pew._

And I could tell that he was impressed by this, as he covered his mouth with his hand, and looked away for awhile. 

He told me that God is pleased that I'm being a true friend. And that my being there honors Him. Then he said that it's not necessary that I give money, but that I should practice other-directedness by helping others, especially the poor. 

But I've got plenty of money now, I protest. I can afford it. Is it by the week or the month, and how much is it? I ask him.

And he thought about it, and said that the truly devout pay 10% of what they make to their church. 

Obviously I know what I make and what Alyssa makes as a nanny, and I go over and ask Ito, our Japanese bodyguard, what he makes a week. Then I did the math in my head and wrote a big check for our pew rent and gave it to the minister, and thanked him for helping me, and asked him to please not tell Alyssa. 

He agreed to keep it a secret, and invited me downstairs for breakfast, and I let him know that Alyssa doesn't eat meat, and that we had already made plans to go to the IHOP for Belgian waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. 

So I go down into the cold basement and struggle to free her from the clutches of all these old ladies that are surrounding her, teaching her how to drink coffee, who insist on teaching me as well. 

They are so sweet. Now they have strawberries and waffles and whipped cream at the church brunch, so we eat there afterwards and visit with everyone while drinking coffee.

It's so much fun. You should come. 

If you want to meet Alyssa, it's the only way. 

10% pew rent is steep, Duke protests. 

You lose more than that at poker night with your friends, Olivia tells him, then leans over to Sara, I'm in. Give me directions, and I'll meet you there. 

Alright, I'll go with you, Duke decides. 

Suit and tie, Sara tells him firmly. 


	9. Church of the Blessed Redeemer

**The third Sunday in August**

The small intimate church is packed during the early service. And people are standing up against the walls in back. The press is gathered outside, and the police have put up a barricade at each end of the side street. 

The minister offers up a formal prayer, after each stanza the congregation responds, " _Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer_ ".

Alyssa and Sara are both dressed in dark mourning attire, in contrast to the bright suits and dresses of many of Sara's costars. 

"And we pray for continued wisdom for our President, AL, as he leads the nation through this time of abundance. And we lift up to you Alyssa's unspoken request"...

The members of the congregation look over at her, and see that she's wearing dark sunglasses, and kneeling with her head down. Sara is kneeling too, and has her arm around her, as Alyssa chokes up. 

Their bodyguard, Ito, glares at any who dare to turn around in their pews to steal a glance at them.


	10. Dubai Tower

_**July** _

Sheik Ibrahim, it is my considered advice that you don't get caught up in that sucker's bet of expanding the capacity of your oil wells while prices are so high. Nelson tells the assembled boardroom. 

Now I'd like to present an alternative...

He glances at the screen of his open laptop. 

May we speak privately for a moment? 

Clear the room, the Sheik orders. 

A family matter has just come up. I need to see to this, per our agreement.

The Sheik nods thoughtfully in appreciation. 

Is the falconness, Alyssa, in good health? 

Very, she is blossoming like a desert rose after a rain. Rather, it is my nephew Scott in California who requests my presence and counsel regarding something so important that he does not wish to discuss it over the phone. 

I see, the Sheik nods. 

We will take my plane, the Sheik declares, and continue this meeting on the way over, if that is agreeable to you. I'd like to hear your thoughts...


	11. At the Manse

**California**

Raymond, Dev, please pardon the imposition of such short notice. Thank you for inviting me into your home. Nelson tells them. 

Scott has requested my presence as he wishes to discuss with you both a very sensitive matter. I don't know what it pertains to, but I dropped everything and flew here straight from Dubai. 

He usually doesn't get back from work till 5, Dev announces. He leaves early in the morning. Dinner is at 6; the men wear coats. Perhaps you'd like to rest up? Juanita will show you to your room.

***

When Scott gets in from work, he sees his uncle and Raymond engrossed in a conversation in the living room. He goes to his room and takes a shower, then dresses for dinner.

Scott comes to the table wearing a blue blazer, white shirt open at the collar, and khakis. 

Thank you for coming so quickly, sir. I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't important. 

His uncle nods and looks over his tan nephew, whose dinner clothes hang loosely on his now lean frame. The men stand until Dev is seated, then all take their seats. Raymond says a quick prayer.

Have you checked the winds aloft, and METAR, Scott? Dev asks. 

It's forecasting ideal VFR flight conditions, Scott replies, but I'd like to talk to you all after dinner.

Aunt Dev is an amazing teacher; I've already logged twenty hours in the Citabria. 

Outstanding. Nelson comments. I'm also a pilot, but I'm not current. 

Which endorsements? Dev asks. 

Instrument and multi-engine. 

Well, I teach tailwheel and acrobatics, Dev tells him. 

How long have you been doing this? Nelson asks her. 

I always wanted to fly. I was a stewardess for Continental, before I married my favorite passenger. And he's helped me to be able to live my dream. We have our own Gulfstream jet now, she says proudly, and I'm working on my quals to fly left seat. 

Gulfstream takes two pilots, Nelson notes and looks over at Raymond. 

Nope, I was always more interested in her than flying.

I've also been teaching Scott how to dance, Dev says abruptly. He's a quick study. And I think it's time he danced with someone other than me. 

We need to throw another party, Raymond. He's spoiling the travel plans of all our friends. Their daughters don't want to summer in the south of France, now that Alyssa's brother is in town, and driving Jim's R32 to work. 

Dare I ask, Nelson, whether you know how to dance? 

Dancing with my wife is one of my fondest memories. But she passed away many years ago, and I have no desire to do so again.

I'm sorry, we didn't know, Raymond says, and gives Scott a look. 

My nephew thought I was a lifelong bachelor. And yet I think he grasps that sometimes the things that are most important to us are the ones we talk about least, Nelson explains. 

Scott looks over at him, wondering if he is referring to how he feels about Sara. 

Dev frowns at this. 

That doesn't scan; I think you need to unpack that for the rest of us.

_What shall Cordelia speak? Love and be silent._ Nelson quotes Shakespeare. 

King Lear, Act I, Raymond confirms. 

We all have a past, Nelson expounds, and some chapters aren't meant to be read aloud.

Raymond nods his agreement. 

Dev still doesn't like this, and is frowning, glancing between them.

How is Alyssa? Raymond asks quickly. 

She and Sara are going to church together on Sunday mornings. My understanding is that the old church they attend is experiencing something of a revival. 

Scott laughs at this, and everyone joins him in doing so. 

How are her wards, Alice and Cora? Dev asks. 

She's planning to take them home with her at the end of the summer. 

The table laughs again; they've all seen the pictures of the fun at Michael's house.

You know, I see the family resemblance between you and Alyssa, but not between you and Scott. Dev mentions, looking between them. 

That's because you aren't thinking in time. Epochs ago, I was leaner, harder, and darker than my nephew. They had us honed to a knife's edge, as paratroopers. But then the war...I'm proud of the men my nephews are becoming, and wouldn't wish for them to have to go through such hardships.

I wish he'd stay on longer, and defer school, Raymond offers. With a little more experience, Scott could be a crew foreman. When he first started, he'd just order materials, and run supplies for the men. But since he's able to communicate well enough in Spanish to make himself understood, he explained that he wanted to work with his hands, and asked the masons to teach him. 

Now I've had to hire someone else to run for supplies. He takes such pride in his work. 

I enjoy building, Scott says quietly. Thank you for giving me the opportunity, sir, he says, looking over at Raymond, who gives him the nod of approval.

Any news from Jim? Nelson asks. Alyssa mentioned that she hadn't heard from him this summer, just a quick note saying that he was going off the grid on a vision quest with his uncle Toby. 

I think that they are hiking the Grand Canyon from the north rim to the south, and are probably staying with some of Toby's friends at Supai village, Dev explains. Of course they didn't get a permit; I hope they don't end up in jail. Teisha was so upset that they didn't ask him to go with them. 

How is his tennis game coming along? Nelson asks. 

He's been working on mastering the one-handed backhand, ever since he sprained his wrist. His coach is pleased with his progress, Raymond adds.

After dinner, Scott is pacing in front of the couch, where Raymond and Dev and his uncle are seated. 

Remember the dinner with Brey and Tyler and Jim, before they headed off to Mexico and then Jim left on his vision quest with his uncle Toby? 

Raymond and Dev nod. 

Jim invited me to test drive his car after supper, and we went for a ride on the coastal highway, and he took me into his confidence. He explained to me the concept of a noble lie, and told me that we don't have a duty to tell the truth to those we love if we are in the service of a higher end. He said that you would forbid him from going if you knew the truth. And that if he wasn't back in forty days, that he probably wouldn't be coming back, and he asked me to act as his executor. That he'd left a manila envelope under the spare tire of his R32 with his mother's letter, and a letter for me to give to Alyssa. 

Raymond and Dev look at each other, alarmed.

Please let me finish, Scott asks softly. 

His mother was suffering from terminal cancer, and didn't want her sons and her husband to see her waste away. She went back to her high desert to die. Jim, and his father-Toby, are on a sacred quest to bury her remains. 

Scott breaks down crying. Dev gets up and hugs him. 

I'm sorry, Aunt Dev, he sobs. I didn't know what to do, and really believed that they'd make it back; it cannot end like this. I'll go and pack now; I know you won't want me around anymore. 

Don't be silly, Dev says, of course we want you to stay. You were only being a true friend to Jim; I don't fault you for that.

Raymond abruptly gets up and walks out to the R32, and gets the manila envelope from under the spare tire, and brings it back into the living room. It has three envelopes inside.

The first envelope Raymond opens is labeled 'My Will' _._

_The last will and testament of Nyush Longfellow, written this 10th day of September, 2001, at his lodge on the shores of Pinery Lake, Ojibway Indian Reservation, upper Michigan._

_I leave all my worldly possessions to my loving brother, Teisha, who has been my best friend all my life. I thank my dad for being a good provider. I thank my aunt Dev and my uncles Raymond, Thad, and Toby for their love and raising me in the Christian faith._

_And it is signed Nyush Longfellow. A notary public stamp is at the bottom of the page, signed in my presence, 9-11-01. Vice President, Superior National Bank._

The next envelope is addressed to Scott.

_Scott, I know that your shoulders are broad enough to handle what I've entrusted you with. Please explain what I've told you to my brother and my aunt and uncles. I decided not to leave behind my mother's letter and map, because if my father and I cannot get it done, I don't want Teisha and my uncles trying. Thank you for offering to come with us. That confirmed my already high opinion of you. Your friend, Jim_

_PS. Don't be a prisoner of hope._

The last envelope is addressed to 'Dearest Alyssa'. With your permission, I'd like to open it, Raymond asks Nelson, who nods. He carefully slits it open with a penknife, only to find that it's empty. Just one word is written on the inside of the envelope: _Bummer._

_***_

Later that evening, Scott and his uncle Nelson sit around the outdoor fire, looking at it. 

Life isn't fair, Scott. 

I learned this when I was your age. My unit was thrown hastily into battle, and ordered to hold a strategic position at all costs. I was the only one who walked away, relatively unscathed. 

All of my friends were dead. Men I had known for longer than you knew Jim. Some died heroically, some randomly, some awfully. It was all time and chance.

I lost my faith in that battle, but I came out of it a survivor.

Life goes on. Eventually, I married the love of my life, and she helped me recover my faith. 

But I've never forgotten my buddies from my old paratrooper unit. I will always carry that torch, and guard the flame of their memory for as long as I live. 

And surprise, a few men from my old unit came back to life. Some had been captured, some had recovered from grievous wounds, others from battle fatigue. 

So don't give up on Jim just yet. Now everything looks better after a good night's sleep...

***

The next day, the uncles discuss what to do over coffee in the early morning.

I propose we wait till the end of the summer to tell Teisha and Alyssa. I see no reason to burden them at this juncture, especially as Jim and Toby may turn up suddenly. I've great confidence in Toby's abilities as a survivor. 

Raymond agrees, and they discuss the matter with Dev and Scott, and all decide to keep the cover story of Jim's vision quest going for as long as they can, and play out any anxiety to the fact that he's "overdue" to return. 


	12. Labor Day Weekend

**At the White House**

So Sara, please introduce me to your new friends. 

Mr. President, this is Olivia and Duke, oops, I mean Kiera and Sean, she says winking at them.

Good to meet you. I'm looking forward to seeing your movie later after dinner. And Brey, did you bring back a clip of your TV show for us to watch? 

I'm afraid it would get lost in translation, sir, he replies modestly. Thank you for inviting me into your home once more, and he walks over to give the First Lady a kiss on the cheek, after helping to seat Sara. 

Where is Alyssa and Ethan? The First Lady asks Sara. 

Alyssa's in California with Jim. She told me to send her love to you both. 

She gets up and gives them each a hug. 

Now I have. Ethan backed out when he heard that Alyssa wasn't coming. 

Breidyn gives her a hard look and then tells the others. Ethan flew out to Raymond and Dev's when Sara told him that Jim almost died out there in the desert. He's concerned about his friend, and wants to be there for him, he adds, glaring at Sara. 

What happened? Sean asks. 

He got lost on a "vision quest" and barely made it back, Sara says derisively. 

Breidyn is radiating cold fury while Sara continues talking. 

I flew out there to see him and told him that the only vision he needed to have was my foot coming at his posterior if he ever put my best friend through that again. 

Everyone but Breidyn laughs hysterically. 

What did he say to that? Kiera asks when she's able to catch her breath. 

He just patted my hand and then turned his face to the wall.

Breidyn springs up from the table. 

Dammit, Sara. How can you be so callous? These are our closest friends you're talking about. What happened to you?

Brey, settle down, the President orders, and the First Lady looks alarmed. Sara looks over at him, just shocked.

Breidyn sits back down and rolls his head back and closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath. Then he looks over at her. 

Sara, I love you; you know that. There's matters I need to tell only you, in private. Meeting here was a mistake. We should have had some alone time first so we could talk.

Brey, will you explain? The First lady asks. 

You know I can, he tells her confidently. But another time, we're talking top secret, if you get my drift. 

The First Lady looks seriously over at her husband and raises her eyebrows. 

Alyssa approves of them, Brey. Sara tells him quietly. 

Oh, really? He declares. 

She even apologized to me, and said that her first impression was wrong. 

She's so quiet and reserved, Kiera says, not at all how I thought she'd be, after having read your diary. 

The President and the First Lady start to chuckle, while Breidyn tries to repress a smile. 

Why did she apologize to you? What was her first impression of us? Sean asks. 

Well, you know how I wanted to bring you both back with me from the set so you could hang out with us at Michael's? 

She told me absolutely not. That she'd both read all your interviews and watched the extras on your movie DVDs, and that you were a pig, and that Kiera was a mean girl, and she didn't want you anywhere near "her wards". 

I may have judged them too quickly, she told me after one of our church fellowship breakfasts.

But did she introduce "her wards" to them or further pursue their acquaintance? Breidyn asks quietly, looking at her with his eyebrows raised. 

Sara stays silent. 

Alyssa and Jim operate at a different level. You have to read between the lines, and watch what they do, and not what they say, because they rarely open their minds when they open their mouths, Breidyn tells her. 

Kiera starts to choke up. 

Alyssa's right. I was a mean girl. 

Sean nods. 

And I was a jerk. 

What happened? The First Lady asks. 

We met Sara, and we changed, Kiera says. 

Sean looks over at her. 

We have to tell her; she deserves the truth. 

Sara looks worriedly between them.

Remember the first day on set, when you showed up an hour late because Michael took you and Alyssa to breakfast?

She comes in all cheerful, explains why she was late, and shrugs and says, he's my boss. Now what did I miss? 

Well, you missed the two pep talks, Kiera says, and proceeds to tell the tale...

...and then he tells Carson that he's going to Mexico on a sacred vision quest, and leaves. 

So when Sara shows up half an hour later, we're all still in shock. And she's so happy and sweet, and she compliments each one of us. 

Everyone makes a point of telling her: I like you too, Sara, just so she won't get upset and then Toby would come after us. Kiera shudders. 

Everyone at the table is laughing. 

We hear her whisper to Carson, after telling him that she's so blessed to be working with someone of his caliber, that she's really nervous, and has to go to the bathroom. Could he tell her where it is? And he drops everything and takes her. 

We were all just amazed. And she won us over, just like that. 

It was the best project I've ever worked on, Sean continues. 

Carson had Toby's catchy phrase made into a wooden plaque, and nailed it above the entrance to the door on the set. And said that it was something that we had to aspire to every day.

So Sara started it, she jumped up and touched it on the way into work one day. And we all copied her. It became our good luck charm. 

That director is a genius, Breidyn says in amazement. 

I overheard him tell an interviewer from Vanity Fair that she's the most talented actress of her generation, Sean continues. Although she was giving him a neck rub at the time. 

The others laugh heartily at this. 

And we all became better people just from being around her. We don't just like you, Sara, we love you. Kiera declares, and Sean nods. 

Sara is trying not to cry. 

Thank you for telling me; I didn't know.

Brey, reading between the lines. Toby in Mexico means Jim in Mexico. And the pieces fall into place, the President says to himself, nodding. 

You have to tell us, the First Lady urges.

Your call, Brey, the President tells him. 

Breidyn thinks it over for awhile and looks at Sara. 

I'm willing to tell it now that I've got a sense of who your friends are, and they've met the force of nature who is Toby. But I'm not going to speak to my own role in the saga.

Everyone who has read Sara's diary knows that one of the unresolved mysteries of the Indian brothers is what happened to their mother. 

He pauses. 

Let me preface this with a disclaimer. I'm putting together bits and pieces from what Scott and Toby told me. I haven't spoken to Jim about it, and I don't think he's told Alyssa yet. So this tale is just a hypothetical, and heresay testimony won't stand up in a court of law...he says looking over at the President, who nods his approval.

Jim figured out that his dog, Argo, was the key to the mystery. And tracked down the breeder. Who remembered his mother, and gave Jim a letter that she had left with him for safekeeping when she got Argo as a puppy. 

The table is spellbound. 

Breidyn starts to choke up, and raises his hand for them to wait for a minute. 

It turns out his mother had terminal cancer, and didn't want her sons and her husband to see her waste away. Her people were Apaches from the Sierra Madres in Mexico, and they had raised her in the old ways. She went back to the high desert to die alone, and wrote where he would find her body. So Jim and his father left on a sacred quest to bury her remains. 

Toby, Sara says weeping. I'm such an idiot. 

No you're not, Sara. You are a true and loyal friend, Breidyn tells her, and the others nod in agreement. 

She's still sobbing.

I'm writing him a letter just as soon as I get back to my hotel, she blubbers. 

You're all staying the night, the First Lady declares. 

Hold that thought, Sara, until I finish the story. There's something else that you can do that he'll appreciate more, Breidyn tells her. 

So Jim and Toby left during the dry season. And it went bad. Real bad. 

I know you've figured out the next part, sir. Should I just skip ahead? It's dark. 

Tell it, Brey. It's just a hypothetical, remember. 

Way back in the hinterlands, they ran into a roadblock of two Surburbans full of Zetas. 

The others look puzzled. 

Zetas are former Mexican special forces that now work for one of the major drug cartels, just pure evil, the President explains to everyone. 

And it was kill or be killed, Breidyn continues. One shot-up Surburban got away, while both Jim and Toby were lightly wounded. But they were determined to finish their quest. And the Zetas came after them...hard. Searching for them with small planes during the daytime. 

So Toby set up an ambush in a box canyon, and in the ensuing battle, they killed the entire squad of elite Zetas that a Huey helicopter brought in. 

Jim got shot up something terrible. Toby told me with such pride that his son stayed in the fight even though he had five bullets in him. 

Everyone is choked up at the table, and the President has his face in his hands. 

Toby flew the Huey to the place where Jim's mother went to die. And dragged over the wrecked body of his son, so he could watch, as he buried her remains. After it was done, Jim told his father that he wanted to die with his mother, and would stay there at the spring that was nearby. That he'd already made arrangements with Alyssa's brother, Scott, just in case he didn't come back, and that he was now content and prepared to meet his God. 

The others are weeping.

Toby left in the helicopter to get help, but ran out of fuel. He blew it up, and then hijacked a pickup truck that came to investigate. Somehow he found Tyler and I on the set of our soap opera, and we did what we had to do.

Everyone at the table is looking at Breidyn in awe, but he ignores them and continues on.

So now Jim's at home in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV. The good news is that his wounds didn't get infected, but he's really weak. He's determined not to lay around as he recovers his strength, but wants to go to Hillsdale in a wheelchair, just as soon as the doctors okay him to travel. 

I didn't get shot in the head, he told me when we were alone. 

Breidyn chuckles at this memory. 

So, Sara - what do you say we go with him? You can be 'researching a role", and I'll push his wheelchair around to class. 

No, she tells him abruptly. El Breydon needs to get back to his set in Mexico. The Dread Sara will handle pushing around his wheelchair, and see that he gets off to a good start at his college.

I want to come too, Kiera says. There must be some Greek sororities on campus. I just read a screenplay that would be the perfect cover story for us. And I'd get to play a mean girl...she says grinning at the table.

You guys are amazing, Sean says. There should be a movie made about your lives. 

No one watches PG movies anymore, unless they're animated, Breidyn says dismissively, and everyone dies laughing.

Sara follows up on his thought. Now let's go watch our movie; there's been enough drama tonight. I know that you all are going to love it; although you'll see that I was able to phone it in because my costars are so talented. 

Everyone smiles at her as they get up to go into the living room.

***

Where is Toby now? The President asks Breidyn later on when they have a moment alone. 

He's at a spa in Switzerland, doing 'water immersion' therapy, alternatively basking in the hot springs and freezing in the mountain streams. 

Expect a European tour of the Warriors of ILF in the near future, he told me, after he explained how he had been planning on annihilating the Zetas in a guerilla war, until Jim told him that they'd find out who he was eventually, and that the rest of his family would become hostages to fate, and that's how they'd kill him. 

_Better to be Zorro, than Pancho Villa_. 

Breidyn laughs and the President joins him. 

Breidyn looks over at Sara.

Although he did tell me to send his love to his white daughter. 

Breidyn gets up and walks over to the couch and gives Sara a kiss on the cheek, and whispers something to her. 

Mission accomplished, the President says to himself. 


	13. Up North

**Labor Day Weekend**

The silver R32 pulls up in front of Sara's house. 

I'll jog back if no one's around. Scott tells T, who nods and then takes off without looking back. Korn starts blaring out of the stereo, as the car races away.

Scott walks up to the door and rings the bell. Mrs. Fairfax opens the door. 

Scott, she shrieks. And gives him a big hug. 

You're so tan and...lean, she says after a pregnant pause. Come on in. The guys are inside. 

Oh, I don't wish to intrude. I was in the neighborhood and...

Her husband comes out to see who it is. 

Scott, good to see you. You're looking...tan. 

They shake hands. 

Come on in, have a seat. 

If you've company, I'd better get going, sir. 

Nonsense. 

Scott reluctantly follows them into the living room where a football game is on the new bigscreen TV, and several huge men are scattered around the between the couch and the lazy boy drinking beer. 

Hey, guys. This is Alyssa's brother, Sara's mother announces. 

Tyler, good to meet you, player, one muscular man yells, as he bounds over the couch and gives Scott a firm handshake, then looks at his hand. 

Damn, you've got callouses. And look like you work for a living. Here I thought you would be Joe College. I'm Michael, Sara's big brother. These guys are some of my teammates. LT and Thor.

They give Scott a quick scan, and see a deeply tanned gaunt young guy, his faded and worn work clothes hanging off of him. 

Where's Goose, Maverick, and Iceman? Scott asks. 

The guys burst out laughing, and give him the nod of approval.

Sara's mom corrects her son. Michael, this is Scott. 

He does a double take. 

Dude, my sister called you a hunk in her diary. What the hell happened to you? 

I've been working as a bricklayer this summer out in California.

Don't you eat? Feed him, mother. 

I'm good, thank you. I feel stupid saying this now, but the reason I stopped by was to see if you wanted some help making firewood, sir. 

Husband and wife give each other a look. 

Yes, I would appreciate some help.

Let's get it done, Michael says, embarrassed, and the guys shut off the TV.

***

At the supper table, Sara's dad asks him how he got here. 

Teisha dropped me off. 

There's an uncomfortable pause. 

We drove the R32 from California non-stop, got in early this morning. He's going to take me deer hunting later. 

But it's not season. Sara's mother says, puzzled. 

The Marines look at each other trying to repress a smile. 

Scott nods seriously. I'll be sure to tell him that. 

The Marines burst out laughing. 

Anyway, we're getting together with his uncles at the lodge later and going to have a sing-along around the fire. 

What? LT asks incredulously. 

I guess his uncle Thad is really into Dean Martin, and is an incredible singer, when he drinks beer.

I thought Teisha doesn't drink? Sara's mother queries. 

He doesn't, and neither do I, Scott says quietly. But his uncle Toby is there, and the brothers are celebrating. It's going to be epic. 

Michael looks over at Scott. 

I'd like to meet him; he sounds intense. Would you introduce us? 

His teammates lean in eagerly, and Scott nods. 

He's in rough shape though, so you might want to manage your expectations. 

The table looks over at him, and Scott decides to tell the truth as Sara's mother has gone to get dessert. 

He just got back from a vision quest in Mexico, and is still recovering from his exertions, killing all those people over there. 

Those at the table break out laughing, but Scott stays serious. 

You're a funny guy, Thor tells him.

I wasn't making a joke, he says flatly. 

The guys laugh even harder.

***

So Teisha is coming back to pick you up? We'd like to meet him, Sara's mother announces as she serves him a piece of apple pie, a la mode. 

I'll be sure to let him know. I'm going to jog back. But if you will allow me to apologize for my friend, it's not like him to not make his manners, but I think he holds a grudge against you, sir.

The table goes silent. 

He wasn't happy swinging by here even to drop me off. He said that you did him wrong by refusing to judge him by his character. 

Sara's mother and father look at each other. 

So that's your hidden agenda, LT says suddenly. You want to reconcile your friend to Sara's parents, and with Sara. 

Scott grins. 

He's with Sonya now. Actually, I'm here to ask for your blessing, sir. I intend to ask your daughter to marry me in four years and thirteen days.

The table breaks down laughing. 

You have it, Scott. 

Thank you, sir. 

Sara's mother gets up and goes over and kisses him on the cheek.

What are you doing this fall, Scott? Michael asks.

I'm going to Hillsdale College with Jim. 

How is he doing? Sara's mom asks, and then tells the table. He got lost in the desert this summer and almost died. 

Easy to do, LT says seriously. 

My sister, Alyssa, started to cry when she saw him, and said "Ticklemonster loves Skeletor". 

The guys laugh at this.

We're going to be roommates; I'm going to push his wheelchair around until he's strong enough to use crutches. 

Didn't that Seal who founded Blackwater go there? Michael asks rhetorically, bringing the conversation back to Hillsdale. So what are you going to study? 

I'm planning to major in history. 

What are you going to do with that, teach? LT asks. 

Actually, I'm thinking about going to Officer Candidate School afterwards. It's one of the reasons I've leaned out and gave up weight lifting, so I can run and swim better.

I knew I liked you, LT says. I did OCS out of Yale. The first four weeks are just brutal; a lot of guys in my class went out on medical. 

If I had to do it over again, I'd take the PLC route. Platoon Leaders Course, he explains, which is a six week course over two summers, for twelve weeks total. 

Forget about Recon, Thor adds. Be a pilot, or a tanker. Unless you want to carry around an eighty pound ruck for days on end. 

The guys nod in agreement. 

Don't get me wrong, Thor adds, it has its moments, and the Marines grin.

We'll take you back, Michael announces. Come with, dad? Who looks over at his wife, and she nods yes, you're going. 

Then don't wait up. We're going to stop by the convenience store and buy them out of beer as a peace offering. What brand do the uncles drink? 

Molson Red Label.

***

The guys drive through the Rez in Sara's dad's old pickup. 

I won't let her buy me a new one, he tells Scott. But we're going elk hunting in Wyoming together, he confides. 

The Marines are drinking beer in the bed of the truck. They are play-acting getting pulled over by the police.

I need to make one phone call. The White House. Yes, my sister and her friends are dining there tonight. 

The guys are relaxed, with their guard down. They've brought a lot of beer, and one foam cooler that is full of ice, and are looking forward to meeting Toby. 

They pull up into the cul-de-sac in the pinery, and walk down the path to the lakehouse. 

This is amazing, Michael says. 

They see Argo's grave, covered by a pile of stones. 

Teisha and his uncle are sitting around a small campfire on the beach, watching the sun set. They see company coming, and Thad waves. Teisha has the old lever action rifle slung across his back. He frowns at Scott. 

So much for hunting tonight. 

Scott shrugs and introduces them to Thad and Teisha. 

Welcome friends, Thad says, and accepts a cold beer that Michael offers him. 

There is going to be some powerful singing tonight, come and join our fire. There is plenty of room to sleep in the lodge, if we celebrate too much. 

The guys all smile, but Teisha is fuming. 

Michael goes over to sit near Teisha. And offers him his hand as he introduces himself. 

Good to meet you, Teisha.

I go by T. now. And shakes his head no, at the offered hand.

Teisha, his uncle says sternly. 

T. clasps Michael's hand briefly and looks around angrily, then glares at Scott. 

Why did you bring them? 

He glares at Sara's dad. 

You are my uncle's guest. But I haven't forgotten your insult; that I wasn't good enough for Sara because I'm an Indian. 

When you have a daughter, you'll understand why I did what I did, he says quietly. 

T. looks around at the Marines. 

You think you're tough because you're Recon Marines. My uncle Toby could ghost any of you, all of you, and he's twice your age. You've probably never even killed an animal other than some rabbit or chicken in a training class. Ooooooo. 

LT and Thor are smiling at this. 

T., let's just say that we've seen Iraq. Michael tells him gently. 

He's still angry, and continues. 

You all are giants. You have to be to carry one hundred pounds of gear, plus your body armor, plus your belt fed machine guns. Good thing you have a helicopter to take you right to the fight, and huge personnel carriers to drive you between the chow hall and the barracks and the weight room. You wouldn't be able to jog back to Sara's house, you're so huge and muscle bound. It'd be daybreak before you got there, if you left now. 

After they don't take the bait, but grin widely, he continues. 

Maybe you know how to shoot with high tech gadgets on your plastic rifles, but what happens when the batteries on your fancy scope die and you don't have a laser range finder? Oh, that's right, you'd pull out your lightsabers. 

LT and Thor are breaking up with laughter, but Michael is staring at T. with his mouth open.

Teisha, you're being rude and offensive to my guests. Be silent. I was a Marine in Vietnam, and those were the best days of my life. Yes, I'm old and fat now, but I once walked point during my tour.

The Marines all toast: Semper Fi. 

I loved the camaraderie. I envy you all that, he tells them. It was my hope that my nephew Nyush would also be a Marine, but my brother Toby spoke against it, and now he must go to college and learn the ways of your people. 

Teisha explodes angrily. Jim has killed more men than all these clowns put together. 

The Marines laugh hilariously at this, and shake their heads. 

What world do you live in, T.? I don't get your anger. I've read my sister's diary, and came away with an appreciation for what a decent guy you were. But from what I've seen here tonight, I'm glad she's with Brey, Michael tells him. 

LT adds: and get one thing straight, no one disrespects the Marine Corps. We are Recon, the best of the best, and if your uncle wasn't one of us, this would be a different conversation.

Would it? A voice comes out of the twilight.

Toby approaches the fire. He's gaunt, wearing his trademark fieldjacket, which has now has a bloodstain on its left side, and he's wearing an ace bandage around his left hip. The Marines look at him and sober up, remembering what Scott had told them earlier at dinner.

Michael, Thor, LT, and Sara's father. Toby announces, letting them know that he's been watching and listening in. 

You are all most welcome. Tonight is a night of celebration, and I will tell a story that must stay within the circle of this fire.

I am Toby. 

The men stand up to greet him.

It will be sung tonight that the warriors of the United States Marines are brave and strong and fierce. A youth who has not been tested in battle has no standing to speak among such men. Let his words fall to the ground.

The others look as Teisha sits back down next to his Uncle Thad, and hangs his head. 

You do us great honor by your presence here. 

He goes up and shakes each man's hand, calls him by name and gestures each to sit by the fire.

Toby goes up to Sara's father and clasps his arms Roman style, and tells him with a voice full of emotion. 

I have adopted Sara into my own family; she is my white daughter. I have sworn an oath of blood and soil, bound by iron that my tomahawk will taste the flesh of any man who disrespects her. That makes you my white brother. Please sit in the place of honor, on the right of my brother Thad. 

Sara's dad is speechless.

Scott is still standing, waiting to be invited by the fire.

Toby goes up to him.

When I am stronger, Scott, we will hunt together. 

They press palms, and Toby invites him to sit next to Sara's father.

Toby grabs a cold beer from the foam cooler, and chugs it. 

Scott whispers loudly to Sara's dad, you have to stand, in order to speak at the council fire. Otherwise you just listen. When everyone is seated, then you can ask questions. 

Sara's dad nods his head, and the Marines take this in. 

Damn, that's good. Toby says. My white brother and warriors of Recon, my nephew is angry. You think it is because he loves Sara still.

The others nod in agreement. 

But it is not so. Her heart now belongs to my white son, El Breydon, who saved my life in Mexico, and is worthy of her. My nephew knows this to be true, and he accepts it.

But we all feel his pain. I feel it deeply. 

When I came back from Afghanistan, I found that my girlfriend had married my brother. Only because my CIA handler told her that Spetnaz had killed me, that the bounty on my head had been paid out to a Russian colonel of the GRU. 

This was his ring, and he pulls out a bloodstained ring with a Cyrillic inscription on it. 

He rolls his eyes as he looks up, and everyone around the fire gets a chill. 

I'm a hard man to kill, he finally says. 

The CIA and I parted company when their man was found with his forked tongue pulled through his slit throat.

He shrugs.

And so it was that my brother raised my son. He acted out of the nobility of his heart, sought to honor my memory by marrying her, knowing that she was pregnant with my child. She was grateful, and grew to love him. They were happy, and the birth of my nephew Teisha was a source of joy to them both.

I stayed dead, and went back to fighting the Russians with the warriors of Muhamed. My deeds are still sung over there, he announces proudly.

Silence greets this, as Thad puts more wood on the fire, and LT grabs more beers for the guys.

I came home when the Russians left, and learned that my brother's wife mysteriously disappeared, right after having gotten them a puppy. 

Why did she abandon her husband who loved her and was a good provider, and her two strong and healthy young boys?

I returned to life, and my brother, already devastated by her absence, never recovered. His business had prospered, and he chose to become a workaholic, travelling the country, seeking out the most dangerous high rise metal projects. He showed no interest in his sons, who sought his approval in vain. 

Teisha starts weeping, and Thad puts an arm on his shoulder. 

And so my brother Thad and I brought the boys to their aunt Dev in California, with the understanding that they would come back here when they were of age to be taught the old ways. And it was so, until the hunter's moon of their senior year, when they were forced to move back to California.

Just before graduation, my son Jim discovered what happened to his mother, and why she had left. He chose not to tell his brother, who was totally committed to becoming a professional tennis player. But Jim told me, now knowing that I was his father.

The puppy, that grew into the dog, Argo, was the key. My son tracked down the breeder, who remembered the enchanting Indian lady, and offered Jim the letter that she had left with him for safekeeping so many years ago. In it, she wrote that she was dying of terminal cancer, and didn't want her husband and sons to see her waste away. 

She too, was raised in the old ways, but as an Apache, in the high desert of the Sierra Madres. She went there to die, and left a map of where he would find her body.

My son and I went on a sacred quest to bury her this summer. He told his white brother of his plans, and asked him to be his executor if he didn't return. And you all can see the strain he has borne written on his features, when we did not return in the appointed time, and he had to carry out this terrible chore. 

The men look at Scott with new appreciation, and Sara's dad starts to tear up, and puts an arm around his shoulder.

My nephew is angry that we didn't take him with us. But I had to leave my brother Theo his son; he understands this now in his heart. And he knows the love his brother Jim has for him, having read his last will and testament. Now my nephew will speak an apology to our honored guests.

Toby sits down.

Teisha stands up. He's crying silently. 

But I could have helped fight, Teisha weeps. And Jim wouldn't have gotten shot up. He'll never be able to run again; my brother is a cripple, he sobs, and that's as far as he gets into his apology before he breaks down. 

The guests are thunderstruck by this revelation. Teish sits down abruptly, the old rifle still slung on his back. 

Michael puts his arm on his shoulder and squeezes it.

Thad rises and tells the tale. They left on their sacred quest during the dry season...

Everyone is weeping as Thad finishes the story and sits down.

The men toast Breidyn and Tyler. 

Who was the medic who parachuted in? 

Brey said that his name was Moshe, and that Alyssa's uncle had called in a favor, Toby replies.

The men are silent, pulling on their beers. 

How did you take out the helicopter? With an RPG? Thor asks, as everyone is seated now. 

My shotgun is loaded with Brenneke slugs. It only took one aimed shot. I put a slug right through the side window. It went right through the pilot and copilot, and even exited the window on the other side. 

What kind of shotgun? Michael asks, a Saiga? 

An 870 wingmaster with rifle sights. 

The guys are amazed. 

What kind of rifle did Jim carry? 

That one, he says nodding at Teisha's slung lever action rifle. 

The Marines are astonished. 

My son insisted on carrying his rifle, because it is an extension of his hand. But the Zetas were wearing Zylon body armor, which was able to stop the .250 round. Which is why the firefight lasted longer than it should have. 

Bring a shotgun to a gunfight, he tells them grimly. My slugs pulled that Zylon right through them, and he smiles at this gory detail. Sara's dad and Scott shudder. The Marines nod, and make a mental note to talk to their unit armorer.

My son is now recovering, and his white brother will help him grow strong while he goes to college and learns the ways of finance. My nephew will continue to study tennis and will one day count coup on the best players of the world. 

The men around the campfire all nod in agreement.

Now I want to hear of what my warrior brothers did in Iraq. Toby grins wickedly. Was he really wearing Sara's dress, or did you put that on him? The Marines grin back at him. And by the time they get through telling the tale, Thad's voice sounds incredible when he starts to sing, just like Dean Martin, maybe better, the men decide. 

Teisha and Scott bring blankets and pillows down from the lodge, as no one want to lose face by leaving the campfire.


	14. Fall Semester

**Hillsdale College**

Sara playfully hockey checks Scott into a wall, which makes a loud thump, and causes everyone in the cafeteria line to look back at them, then smile and shake their heads. Sara takes back the place of honor, pushing Jim's wheelchair into the cafeteria. 

Repeat our arrangement to me, Beautiful, he tells her. 

I have him from breakfast till lunch, then Kiera has him from lunch till dinner. Then you bring him back to your dorm room. 

So why was he left unattended?

I had to water the lawn, dude, Sara replies in a deep voice. 

Those around them in line burst out laughing.

I'm a person, not the rock of Sisyphus, Jim interjects. 

Scott laughs at this quip and explains to a puzzled Sara how Jim was referring to the existential fable by Camus about finding meaning in absurdity. 

Who are you? May I speak to your host, sentient alien being who has taken over Scott's brain. 

More laughter from those around them. 

After they go through the line and find a table, Kiera soon joins them with a clique of pretty sorority girls - who each give Jim a kiss on the check before they sit down at the table too.

I love this school, Jim shouts. 

Everyone laughs at the crippled guy, who is always so cheerful.

***

In their room in the sorority house, Kiera confesses to Sara. I've got such a crush on your friend Scott. Those cheekbones, that sun-bleached hair, and that tan; he should be a model. 

You should have seen him up north; he was a serious hunk then. He's dropped like twenty pounds of muscle over the summer, working as a brick layer in the desert heat. I told him that he's too lean now. 

What did he say? 

He just made a joke; something about too many years and too many beers.

I just think it's so cool that he'd give up his soccer scholarship and transfer here just to take care of his friend. And he's so well-mannered and smart. Do you think he'd go out with me?

Sara laughs. Do you want me to sound him out? 

Kiera nods. 

Alright, consider it done. Don't eat lunch with us tomorrow though, that'll give me the occasion to talk to him.

***

The next day, Sara asks Scott what he thinks about Kiera.

She's cool, he says noncommittally as he eats slowly. 

Do you think she's pretty? 

Gorgeous, he replies quickly, but before she can continue her line of questioning, he asks his roommate: Do you think that such beauty is a hindrance to her development as an actress, Jim? 

Actually, I think she's missed her true calling, Jim replies. 

Sara looks over at him, just shocked, and demands that he explain himself. 

Sometimes I hear her singing as she pushes me around campus. 

Do you know if she plays the guitar? Scott asks Sara. 

I'm not sure, Sara says slowly.

I bet she has a notebook full of her own songs, hidden away. Jim continues his friend's thought, as they team up on Sara. She probably hasn't even shown you, even though you are obviously close. So I suppose my answer to your question, Scott, is that she's so pretty that she's insecure about her other talents. 

She'd be a perfect fit for country music television, Scott says musing. 

Not yet, Jim counters. She needs to work on her frame. 

What are you talking about? Sara says disgustedly. She has a much better figure than I do. 

Frame is a term that dancers use to refer to graceful posture. It has nothing to do with one's endowments. And by the way, your "frame" is far superior to that of your friend. 

Probably your sister's doing, Jim covers for his friend's lapse. When you stop by Wheaton, have Alyssa teach her how to swing dance. 

Scott interrupts: Or you could see Jim's aunt Dev in Cali, she's amazing, and insisted on teaching me how to dance over the summer. 

Sara is silent, and looks between them. Jim swivels around in his wheelchair, and looks around the cafeteria. 

Where is Kiera today?

She wanted to interview some of the sisters from one of the other sororities. She'll be here any minute. 

Sara thinks for awhile. 

I wonder if you're right about her playing the guitar. I'm going to find out. The Dread Sara is on the case. 

Scott, would you mind getting me another small plate of tuna salad? And an apple for the Dread Sara to slice up for me. If you both would be so kind. 

Scott gets up abruptly and leaves. 

Matchmaker, Jim says grinning at Sara. 

Well? 

Scott told me that he's resolved to give up on romantic entanglements as a source of meaning, at least while he's at college. 

That's absurd, Sara says angrily

Jim laughs so hard at this that others in the cafeteria look over at him and smile - happy to see the gaunt freshman in the wheelchair with casts on his left arm and right leg in such good spirits. Rumor had it that he was involved in a horrible mountain biking accident over the summer.

Kiera comes up just as Jim is finishing his lunch. 

Sorry I'm late, I know you were talking about me, she says grinning at Sara, wondering where I was. 

Special K, do you play the guitar? Jim asks her abruptly, when she sits down. 

She looks at each of them seriously, and eventually nods her head shyly, looking down at the table. 

Sara gets up and gives Jim a big kiss on the cheek. Then announces that she's off to calligraphy class. 

You've given me a lot to think about, she tells Jim and Scott, and Kiera looks after her mystified. 

Special K? she asks Jim. Am I that slow? 

Quite the opposite, he assures her. We've long suspected that beauty isn't your only talent. The guitar confirms it. We'd like to hear you play, if you'd be willing to perform for a cripple. 

Hey, stop insulting me, Scott says. 

Just because I haven't yet learned how to express my thoughts and feelings in polysyllabic words like you.

They all laugh as they get up to head to class. 


	15. Midterms

**Hillsdale College**

During supper, a karaoke machine is brought in, and an acoustic guitar is left on a music stand nearby, near a microphone and a chair. But no one is brave enough to start it off.

When Sara and Scott get back from rollerblading together, they skip the cafeteria line and just walk over to where Kiera and Jim are eating. They've no sooner sat down, when the student body president speaks into the microphone: Sara, please come up here and start it off. 

She gets up and motions for Kiera to come with her, but she shrinks in her seat, and puts her head down.

Sara rolls her eyes, and jogs up to the microphone.

Hi, everybody. As most of you know, Special K and the Dread Sara are heading out soon to start filming our new movie. Now I want to go out in "A Blaze of Glory". 

I'm dedicating this song to Jim, she says – pointing at him. 

Scott quickly gets up from his seat, and runs up to join her at the microphone. 

Sara smiles at him, and gives him a quick hug. 

Thank you for standing up with me, she whispers. I'll take the first stanza, he tells her. 

They start keeping time with their feet and nodding with their heads. 

Scott starts off singing, and they alternate stanzas, but sing the chorus together. And dance together briefly during the guitar and drum interlude. 

Those in the cafeteria clap loudly as they finish. Kiera is crying, and Jim spins his wheelchair in a circle, as he pushes away from the table with his one good hand. Several students get up to help him, but a giant upperclassman grabs the wheelchair, and pushes him up to where the microphones are. 

Thank you, Tim - who nods, and goes back to sitting with the guys on the hockey team. 

Jim smiles at Sara and Scott, and gestures for them to go away and leave him alone. They take a seat on the floor nearby. The cafeteria is now crowded with onlookers. 

It's truly humbling to realize how dependent I am on others, to do even the simplest things. Everyone, I appreciate your kindness to me, and your understanding of my current frailties. I promise to pay it forward. Now, I'm of the woods. 

A cheer goes up from the crowd. 

And where I come from, we listen to country music. 

More cheers. 

I want to dedicate this song, "One More Day" by Diamond Rio, to Sara and Kiera. I'm going to miss you.

And he sings it true. Many in the audience are teared up, including Sara, who understands that he's singing about Alyssa, and rushes up to give him a gentle hug, and pushes his wheelchair back to his table, followed by Scott. 

Kiera gets up as they come near, and wipes the tears from her eyes, and then walks up to the empty microphone. 

My friends are so brave. I want to dedicate this song to...she pauses - that handsome man who just pushed Jim up here, I didn't catch your name. 

TIM, he yells.

She smiles wanly, and then launches into Rascal Flatts 'What Hurts The Most'. 

The audience is stunned by her ethereal voice and the depth of emotion she brings to the song.

She walks off the stage in total silence, with her head down. Then Scott stands up to applaud, and everyone else rises up and joins him. 

Encore, the hockey team yells. 

All the guys cheer when she rushes over to give Tim a kiss on the cheek. Now the audience is fervently yelling for an encore. 

Kiera smiles and grabs the acoustic guitar that's leaning up against the stand, adjusts it, and starts strumming, and launches into an enchanting cover of Peter Gabriel's 'In Your Eyes'. 

The audience is spellbound by her intricate guitar work. 

KIERA-KIERA-KIERA, Scott starts to chant at the song's end, and everyone joins him. 

One last one she says, and plays and sings 'Wicked Game', then does the last line acapella: 

_Nobody loves no one_.

A record executive from a major Nashville label comes up to Sara and Jim and Scott at their table. 

Sara, Michael told me you wanted an honest opinion of your abilities. Here it is: stick to acting. 

Jim and Scott and even Sara howl with laughter, and the music executive is taken aback. 

Kiera comes over, wading through admirers, and the suit offers her his card. 

Call me. We need to talk. What you just did up there was magic. You're going to be a country music goddess. I will make it happen.

**Later that night.**

You set that up, didn't you, Sara? I mean, an acoustic guitar just happens to be leaning on a stand near the mic. And the Nashville record executive who happened to be in the neighborhood. 

Sara grins. Well, you blew me off when I told you what Jim said about you missing your true calling. By the way, he thinks you've got a notebook full of songs hidden somewhere. 

How could he possibly know that? 

Sara shrugs. He's Jim. 

Kiera says nothing, then finally asks her, do you think Scott understood that he was my muse? 

Sara smiles. The way you ended that Chris Isaak song. I'm in awe of you, Kiera. 

Sara sighs. Well, the ball is in his court now.

I'm not giving up my day job just yet, Kiera tells her friend. 

But you are going to serenade me every night on the set, and of course, teach me how to sing harmony; so I can be your backup. 

Kiera grins at this, then steers the conversation back to Scott. Do you think I should write him a letter? she asks. 

No, silly. Singing is your talent. So write 'Tim' a song.

Kiera punches Sara in the arm and they laugh together.

***

Scott is talking with Jim back in their dorm room: the way she laughed at that music executive's dismissal of her singing. The audience just loved her; she's so much fun. And what she did for her friend... 

Who is crazy about you, Jim adds, grinning. 

I too see triangles everywhere, the mathematician says to the artist. Scott replies in nonsense verse. 

So how was rollerblading? Jim asks, still chuckling at Scott's one liner. 

It went much better than ice skating, which was a total disaster, as I couldn't stand up. She said that she used to do figure skating up north, and that her big brother played hockey.

That's your ticket, Jim says suddenly. The transformation from zero to hero as a hockey player. And if I'm not mistaken, that giant upperclassman, Tim, will be stopping by soon to talk about Kiera. He'll be delighted that you want to try out for the team; you'll have an in and a shepherd. 

Scott looks discouraged. 

Jim sees this and tells him seriously, Alyssa agrees with me that Brey and Sara won't make the year. Fame and distance will separate them. Do you really think that when they break up that Sara is just going to rush into your arms? 

_I've been so blind; he's been there all along._

It won't be like that. She'll be moping around, probably at Wheaton with Alyssa, but they'll go to a hockey game and Sara will be shocked to see that you're even on the team. You'll sit most of the game on the bench, and they'll only let you play when the score is so lopsided that it doesn't matter. And the other team will take out their frustration on you; and you'll be knocked around like a bowling pin. But you'll get back up again, over and over, until blood is running out of your ears, and all the sudden she'll get it.

If he can get up and move on, so can I. And then...


	16. Wheaton College

**Fall semester, that same week**

Kiera, this is my roommate Ruth - who gives Kiera a brilliant smile and then hugs her. 

Then suddenly goes," Oh, my neck", and looks pleadingly with a cute grin at Sara, who motions her to sit down, and starts giving her a neck massage. 

Sara, you have such amazing hands, she drones. I've also got this tension in between my shoulder blades. 

That's because you have such a big chest, Sara says in a deep voice, how much can you bench, dude? 

You are so funny; I wish I did though. She sighs. Then Ruth switches gears. 

Kiera, what did you think of Hillsdale? 

I loved it. Did Sara tell you what she did to me? 

Alyssa shakes her head no, and Kiera tells them the story of the karaoke machine at their last dinner in the cafeteria and how she choked. 

Scott rescued me, and we sang "Blaze of Glory" together, dedicated to your man. Sara explains to Alyssa. We even danced together briefly during the interlude; I couldn't believe how good of a dancer he was. He said Jim's aunt Dev taught him over the summer. 

Then Jim came up and dedicated "One More Day", to Sara and I, Kiera continues. 

I don't know it, Alyssa confesses. 

Sara winks at her.

Kiera will sing it for us later, when she's finished writing her latest ode to 'Tim'. 

Who is Tim?

Just this hockey player that I'm crazy about, Kiera sighs. 

Do you approve, Sara? Alyssa asks. 

Kiera gives her a look that pleads, _don't reveal my secret_.

He's too lean for my tastes, but he's been good to Jim, helping push his wheelchair.

Kiera blushes.

I suppose I do, even though he's more Bingley than Darcy, Sara continues, making an oblique reference to Pride and Prejudice. 

Then we'll help him catch you, Alyssa announces, and they all laugh together. 


	17. Thanksgiving Dinner

**Winnetka**

After Nelson says a brief prayer, everyone lets go each other's hands, and all dig in. 

This is muy deliciso, says Tyler's girlfriend. 

Alyssa and Sara beam at her; they've spent hours preparing the meal. 

I so love your 12 Nights, Rosita tells Sara. We watch again and again in cinema.

I say this right? She asks Tyler. 

He rattles off something in Spanish to her, and they smile at each other. 

Jeem, you look much better. 

He thanks her, and Alyssa rubs his back.

Brey is quiet and serious, and just picking at his food.

You no like, Sara says, aping Rosita, and he grins at her. 

Just something's been weighing on me. It's not the food or the company. 

He gives her a quick kiss. 

You...have a lover? Sara continues with an accent, and the table breaks down in laughter.

How's Scott doing? Brey asks, in a patent attempt to change the subject away from himself; he knows that he's in California, celebrating the holiday with his "aunt and uncle", along with Teisha and Sonya. 

He's back into training, but he's not using weights. Alyssa tells the table. He's trying out for the Hillsdale hockey team. 

Sara is shocked. But he can't even stand up on skates, she protests. 

Jim shrugs. He really bonded with Tim; you remember him, right? 

Should I be jealous? Brey asks quickly, taking on the persona of his character, El Breydon. 

Kiera's crush, Sara replies smiling, and Alyssa gives her a warning look. Which Sara ignores. 

He's this gentle giant who is the enforcer on the Hillsdale hockey team. 

Hmmppfph, El Breydon says, then adds, do I need to "speak" to this man?

Oh, please, NO. Rosita wails. And the table rocks with laughter.

***

After the meal is cleaned up, the dishes washed, and the leftovers put away, Sara, Alyssa, and Tyler decide to give Rosita a tour of their old stomping grounds, the Northshore Academy.

I've got a key, Sara says proudly. 

Brey begs off, saying that he wants to curl up with a Louis L'amour western in front of the fireplace. Sara narrows her eyes at this, and makes him promise to read to her an excerpt from this book when they get back.

Only if you give me a neck rub, he declaims. They shake hands formally. 

Alyssa goes to grab Jim's wheelchair, but he limps over on a crutch, and tells her that he's been looking forward to an opportunity to play her uncle a game of chess. She nods, and the foursome leaves. 

I want to talk to you both, Brey says abruptly. And he walks over and pulls out a chair for Jim to sit at the small kitchen table.

Are you sure you want me here? Jim questions. I'll not be offended if you just want to talk to Nelson. I promised Kiera that I'd listen to her demo and can put on some headphones in the other room. 

No, Jim, I want you to hear this too, and hear your thoughts as well. 

Jim looks over at Nelson, who shrugs. They all take a seat.

Are either of you familiar with the plot of our soap opera? Both shake their heads no. 

El Breydon and T. are mysterious gypsies are searching for, among other things, an old guitarist, perhaps their grandfather. It turns out that Charleton Heston loves our show, and his agent approached us to see if he could get a walk-on part. He's now the old guitarist, who teaches El Breydon the five emotional truths of the strings of La Guitarra. 

We've become quite close, and he's invited me into his home, and I've gotten to meet his incredible wife. They loved hearing about Sara and I, how we met and fell in love. But I caught them give each other a sad look, and I asked them about it. 

It won't work, Charleton told me. You're both incredibly talented and committed actors. Fame and distance will separate you. And he said something similar to what you once told me, that I need someone to anchor me. And that Sara is going to need someone to anchor her, or we'll both become unmoored and lose our way and destroy both of our careers and lives. That he couldn't have attained his current stature if he didn't have his wife to anchor him. 

"My home has always been my castle, no matter how the critics rage, and how the movie performs at the box office, I know that I am safe here, and loved".

"Get a second opinion before you do something drastic, his wife added. But we're only telling you this because we really care about you, Brey. And of course, we love Sara".

And so I want a second opinion. I'd appreciate your candor.

My mentor taught me that the junior member of the team speaks first, so the senior has more time to collect his thoughts, Nelson says.

Jim looks over at Brey. I'm inclined to agree with the old guitarist. Not that you would be untrue to each other, please don't let that be your takeaway. I hold each of you in the highest esteem. 

If you stay together, one of you will have to be untrue to your calling as an actor. For it to work, one of you would have to step back and chart a different course. You'd be a phenomenal agent or producer, maybe even studio head eventually. Sara would be an incredible French teacher and a wonderful mother. But the opportunity cost would always eat at both of you. 

Could I have been great if I didn't marry Sara? Would she have been great if she didn't marry me? Variations thereof. And that's not healthy. 

I think you know what Alyssa would say...wait till after college to get married, when you're more established.

But I think what you're really asking is how should I break up with Sara? Let me play out three scenarios. 

The first is that you ask her to marry you over Christmas. She'll be delighted and you'll be engaged, but she'll break off the engagement, when she realizes what will happen to your careers. But you'd honor her with your proposal. And she then has to live with being the bad guy and rejecting Prince Charming. That might make her choose dark roles in the future, and will certainly cause her to lose some of her fan base.

The second is that you just happen to meet someone down in Mexico, and it's love at first sight. So you call her up and tell her that you won't be making it to her parent's for Christmas after all, that you've never felt this way before. That it's over. You've met Delilah, and hope that she meets Samson one day. She'll hate you and will never forgive you, and you'll be the bad guy. Your fan base will love it, especially as it doesn't work out – he's just like us, and sees with his heart, and gets burned. You'll be in exile from Hollywood, probably until she gets married and quits acting, which might be a long time in coming, as she'll have trouble trusting a man again.

The third is that you write her a letter. To be delivered at Christmas Eve at her house. Explaining that your absence is your mostly costly and last gift to her. That you can no longer be together even though you love her with all your heart. That you are committed to becoming a serious actor, and know that she is too. And that you both need someone to anchor you, not to compete with. Her father will hate you, but she'll come to respect you for it over time, and she'll decide to date someone who isn't famous, and you'll have altered her trajectory for the betterment of all.

Brey has his head in his hands and is looking down at the table, weeping. 

Damn it, he roars. Why does it have to be like this?

Nelson gets up from the table, walks over to a cupboard, and pulls out three glasses, and puts ice in them and sets them on the table. Then he leaves, and comes back with a hammer. He punches a hole in a wall with it, and then starts tearing away drywall. Jim and Brey are stunned. He lays the hammer down on the floor in the wreckage, and reaches into the drywall and pulls out a dusty bottle of Johnny Walker Black. I think your time has come, he tells it. And he pops the cork, and pours each a stout shot.

Help yourselves. I've been saving this bottle for almost fifteen years. And he takes a sip. Smooth.

Brey and Jim follow his example.

Brey. I'm going to tell you a story that I've only told my mentor. Although I think Jim has already figured out what I'm about to tell you. 

Alyssa is my daughter. 

Brey is astonished. 

Do you know what OC stands for? I'll give you a hint, it's not Orange County, Nelson says, and he takes another sip from his glass. Brey nods slowly, understanding dawning in his eyes.

My first name is Eliyahu. Nelson is a nom de guerre; part of the arrangement I made with Scott and Tyler's parents is that I be allowed to take their last name. What dirtbags they turned out to be, further proof, if needed, that money cannot buy happiness. You don't need to know my real name. 

My father was a very successful accountant, in addition to being a bookkeeper for a large OC family in Brooklyn. My parents were observant Jews, and I became a passionate Zionist. I enlisted in the Israeli army when I graduated from my private high school. And was a paratrooper when the Yom Kippur war broke out in Fall 1973. My company was tasked with defending an outpost in the Golan Heights, and was wiped out. I alone survived relatively unscathed. I lost all my friends, and my faith as a result of that war.

Afterwards, I was invited to join another unit, one you will never hear of. And I served several years, until I was injured in a night parachute drop, and given a medical discharge. 

Back home, I was treated as a hero. At synagogue, my father introduced me to the man who became my mentor, who I'll call Mordecai, for this story. He handled the money laundering for all OC on the east coast, although I didn't know that at the time. He encouraged me to go to college, as I worked for him, and learned the ropes of the money business. I did very well in school at Columbia, and even better on the job. 

I'm not a violent man by nature. But when everyone else around me panics at the sound of gunfire, I just get calm, and am able to do what needs to be done. 

After Mordecai and I survived an ambush, I became his right hand man. He trusted me implicitly, and I followed his orders without question. 

After I had my degree, specializing in tax law, and passed the New York bar exam, I continued on and got my MBA. Now I'm the heir apparent, and am handling our Las Vegas expansion. I'm connected to the right people all over the world. 

It was then I met Alyssa's future mother, who I'll call Beatrice. She had flown in from Italy to see the Grand Canyon with her mother, while her father and older brothers talked business with me.

Needless to say, I soon became fluent in Italian, and suddenly our new clients demanded my personal attention. 

Jim and Brey chuckle, and they all take another sip out of their glasses. 

But her brothers and parents were all devout Roman Catholics, and wouldn't allow me to court her, even though we obviously admired each other. They knew I was Jewish, as it was a point of pride with me to always wear my kippah. 

I talked with my mentor about how I had lost my faith in the war, and even though I kept up appearances by going to synagogue with my mother - my father had already passed away, at this time - and that I no longer believed in G-d. That I was in love with Beatrice, and wished to convert to Roman Catholicism to win her hand. We'd been working together for ten years, and I thought I knew him. 

He said that he was disappointed in me; that being Jewish was an integral part of his identity as a man, and that while he respected me and my abilities, he wouldn't be in partnership with a Gentile.

But will you give me your blessing? I asked him. 

I cannot, he told me, but go in peace.

So we parted ways. I was already a wealthy man when I moved to Italy to take instruction in the catechism of the church. The Cardinal was so impressed by my devotion that he insisted that I take holy orders and become a priest. 

Brey and Jim laugh at this. 

And it was then that I made the nearly fatal mistake of taking someone into my confidence on the basis of their position in life, and not on their character.

He told her father, who then sent her brothers to kill me for my presumption. While I do not take delight in violence, I really enjoyed strangling that fat Cardinal with my bare hands, after I had killed her brothers. 

He takes a sip and savors it.

Then I broke into her house. Drugged her father and mother, and woke her up. I told her that I was madly in love with her, had given up everything to be close to her, only to be betrayed by a Cardinal of the church. Would she elope with me?

She refused. 

Then I pinned her arms and dragged her over to her parent's room. I told her that he'd sent her brothers to kill me, and they were now dead. And that she must chose. That if she won't come away with me and consent freely to be my wife, then I'd kill her father. She said nothing, even after I told her that the sword of war must spare women and children. But her father would die for the insult he'd done to my honor. Save his life. Marry me. 

He pauses to empty the bottle into each of the glasses. They all take a healthy drink.

She said nothing. So I severed his spinal cord with my knife; and he died instantly. Then I killed her mother. Broke her neck with my bare hands. Told her I wouldn't use a knife, didn't I. I'm nothing if not a man of my word. Then I raped her; she didn't resist. 

Brey and Jim look over at him in abject horror. 

What - did you think there would be a happy ending? Alyssa can never know. 

He drains his glass.

I went back to the States, and set up my own shop in Florida. Cocaine was hot at the time. The drug cartels valued my expertise and discretion, and Mordecai allowed me to carve out a niche for myself.

Of course, I was filled with self-loathing. I had defiled my one true love. I'd left her with my card, hoping against hope, now that I'd taken everything from her, she'd come to me. Or that she'd send someone after me, to give me an outlet for my rage.

Forty days later, she called me. Eli, I'm pregnant. Will you come get me?

Of course, I dropped everything, and flew over to get her, with some commandos from my old unit, as I suspected an ambush. But she went with me willingly. She told me on the plane that she blamed herself. That she should have gone with me that night like Rebekah went to Isaac in the Old Testament. And she thanked me for coming to get her, and that she would be grateful if I would be willing to marry her to take away her shame. 

Nelson breaks down in tears, and Jim and Brey are also weeping.

We were married immediately in a private ceremony in a small Lutheran church in Orlando, the very one Alyssa went to when she lived there this past summer.

And I swore that I'd change. That I'd be a better man and a good father. 

She was still afraid of me, and shuttered when I'd touch her. But I hoped that, in the fullness of time, she might come to love me. Only when Alyssa was born, and I held her in my arms, was she finally able to forgive me, and then our love became real.

She was my partner. May each of you find such a one. 

He weeps for a long time. Then regains his composure. 

We wanted to live a quiet life, and tried to figure how to get out of the gilded cage I'd built for us. You'll find that out Brey, once you're famous, you're a prisoner. Yet those were the happiest days of my life, those three years.

Then the cartels went to war, and I was in the cross hairs once more, as I was forced to pick a side. My wife took a bullet meant for me, and died, but not before telling me that I was a mighty man of valor, and that she loved me.

After I set up Alyssa with her new family in California, I hunted down and wiped out every last member of that cartel. Then I told my clients that I was retiring from the trade to mourn the loss of my wife and little daughter, and wished to grieve in quiet and solitude, and that it was my desire never to see Florida again. That my mentor Mordecai would handle their needs, although I would still remain available in Chicago for truly exceptional services, but it would be a mistake to involve me in quotidian matters, lest they draw my wrath. 

Mordecai is still alive, and asks about "his granddaughter" all the time. You have no idea how close he was to having you killed that summer, he tells Brey, chuckling. 

I moved here, and put that bottle in the wall, for a special day. And I started a legitimate business that has prospered; I've made something of a name for myself, and now have considerable reach and influence. But Alyssa coming back into my life has been my greatest source of joy. I've recovered my faith, and look forward to our Sunday mornings. And I'm proud of the men that my nephews are becoming. 

And I like their friends, he adds with a grin. 

Now Brey, I've told you and Jim this story as a warning, not as an example. I'll even be more explicit: _take what you want, but pay for it -_ is the moral. I made my choices. And I live with them every day. Alyssa can never know, at least while I'm alive. 

Jim struggles to get up on his crutch and stands and offers Nelson his good arm. They clasp hands Roman style. 

I respect the man you are even more, now that I know the man you were. And he tries to give Nelson a hug, and would have fallen on the floor, if Nelson and Brey didn't quickly catch him.

Let's play some cutthroat pinochle, Jim announces, after they seat him once more, and they all laugh.

Sara and Alyssa come in five minutes later, and are shocked to see the empty bottle of booze, the hole in the kitchen wall, the plaster and hammer lying on the floor, and guys huddled around the table, playing pinochle. 

What are we celebrating? Alyssa asks cautiously.

L'chiem. Her uncle responds, grinning at her. 

Who is winning? Sara asks. 

Only players get to talk, Brey shushes her. 

She starts giving him a neck rub, as she watches them play. 

Alyssa sits between her uncle and Jim, holding their hands. 


	18. Snow White & The Seven Dorks

**First Day on the Set**

Sara goes up to the director, and whispers to him. 

Please don't think me impertinent, but what is your favorite song? 

He gives her a funny look.

I'm putting together a mix tape of all the favorite songs of everyone on the cast and crew. 

He nods in understanding. 

"Round Here" by Counting Crows.

Oh, she says approvingly, and gives him a thumbs up. Then walks away, to whisper to her "dad" on set. 

"Old Man" by Neil Young. 

Really? she says. 

You'll like it, he tells her. She shrugs okay. Then goes on to the next cast member.

***

The male lead comes up to her and Kiera during a break. And asks if Alyssa is going to come by the set. That he'd really like to meet her. 

Sara looks over at Kiera. 

He is so handsome, that I can only stare and drool. 

I don't hear a word he says, Kiera quickly agrees. He could read the phone book, and it would sound like poetry to me. 

They sigh, and look back at him, smiling. Flustered, he walks away. And it becomes their running gag on the set. 

Did he say something? Sorry, I got lost looking into his eyes, Sara tells the director, who just cracks up laughing. 

***

Eventually Sara passes him a note. _If you sing me your favorite song, I might be able to hear you_. – _Sara_ , with the ubiquitous butterfly drawn after her name.

The next day, he comes on set and starts to sing U2's _With or Without You_. 

Hello, I'm Sara, she tells him. You have the most amazing voice. I could listen to you all day long. Special K, I want you to meet someone. What is your name? 

Ryan, he says, playing along. 

Would you sing that for us again please? 

He does. 

After he's finished, Kiera shrieks: OMG, that voice. Talk me to you, now I cannot see, I'm blinded by my desire. And places both her hands on Sara. 

Oh, you smell so good. And I do admire a man with long hair. And an earring, how daring. And she runs her hands down Sara face, and you're so lean and handsome. 

The director and the cast just die laughing, as Ryan stomps off. 

Sara and Kiera give each other a high five.

**Several weeks later**

Sara, that was so phony, you pretending to cry. Think of a sad memory. 

But I'm a happy person, Sara protests, I like to have fun. Any chance we could skip ahead and shoot this scene last when I get back from Christmas break. Who knows, maybe the Grinch will steal Christmas at the Fairfax house? 

The Director sighs. I suppose. Are you girls performing tonight at your trailer? 

Yep, Sara says. We're doing movie dad's favorite song tonight. 

What's that? The director asks. 

Did he just say something? She asks Kiera.

I don't know, I just got lost imagining running my fingers through his hair, Kiera replies. 

The Director rolls his eyes. 

See what I have to deal with? He tells the producers, who are chuckling. 


	19. Christmas Eve

**Riverdale**

Alyssa is staying over at Sara's for the holidays. 

When they get back from a pickup game of broomball with some local high school kids, there's a FedEx envelope waiting on the table. The return on the address reads _B. Heyward, Mazatlan, Mexico._

Sara opens it eagerly as Alyssa looks on. Inside is a manila envelope, addressed to " _Dearest Sara_ ". 

I'm going to my room to read this, she tells Alyssa and her parents, who smile at her. 

But she doesn't come out for supper. 

Alyssa knocks on the door, and sees that she's lying on the bed, curled up, with the light off. Alyssa rushes over. 

Sara, what's wrong? 

Brey broke up with me, she answers softly.

Alyssa hugs her.

How do you want me to handle your parents? 

Sara gets up, and walks out the door and goes to the kitchen. 

Mom, Dad, Brey isn't coming. He broke up with me. 

And she starts to cry. Her parents give her a hug, and Alyssa joins them. Nobody knows what to say - they're all shocked. 

Why? Her mom asks eventually. 

It's complicated, Sara replies. I love him so much. 

And she starts weeping. 

***

Do you want me to talk to him? Alyssa asks her later. 

Read it, and tell me what you think I should do.

_Dearest Sara,_

_My absence this Christmas at your parent's is the most costly and I expect, the last present that I'll ever give you. I love you, you know that. But I'm breaking up with you. No, there is no one else. The only reason I'm doing it is because I have to be true to myself, and to my calling as an actor. Sara, fame and distance have already separated us; but that is not insurmountable. I'm crazy about you, and I'd marry you in a heartbeat if you would have me. But the timing is wrong. Alyssa is right with her groundrules, ie. the right thing at the wrong time would be the wrong thing. Her uncle Nelson once told me that I sought the approval of others too much, and I needed an anchor: someone who believed in me implicitly and would love me for the flawed man I am. And that was you. I would have never made it to where I am without the gift of your love. Asking you out to that formal was the best decision I ever made. Thank you for believing in me and loving me. I love you so much._

_You are an exceptionally talented actress, and will lead a public life. And so you'll need someone in the shadows to anchor you too, lest you become unmoored. Alyssa will for awhile, until she marries Jim. And of course, you have your family. But eventually, my hope is that you'll find a man more worthy to win your hand._

_That man cannot be me; I'm just as committed as you are to being a serious actor and mastering the craft. I'm not interested in being 'married singles' like my parents. I want to be like your parents, like Raymond and Dev, like Judge and Rachel, and most recently, like Charleton Heston and his wife...who clued me up that we wouldn't work. I went and got a second opinion from someone I respect. He said that one of us would have to step back and chart a different course, while the other went on to live their dream. I'm not willing to do that for you, nor would I ask you to do that for me. Finally, I asked Alyssa's uncle at Thanksgiving what I should do. He didn't say yea or nay when I told him my dilemma. Just that I had to "take what I want, but then pay for it". I choose acting._

_I love you with all my heart. It's going to take me a long time to get over you, if I ever do. I'm so sorry. I know that I'm hurting you, and that you'll somehow find a way to blame yourself...don't. I hate myself for doing this. I don't want to see or hear from you for at least a year; I plan to run in entirely different circles. I know that I'm a disappointment. That I'm ruining your Christmas. That your parents will hate me. But maybe, in the fullness of time, you'll be able to forgive me and think better of me. God will bless the man who gets you. I'm going off into the desert on a vision quest. Because if you called me, I'd be there in a heartbeat, and I'd marry you, damn the consequences to our careers and to our lives. So I'll be off the grid for forty days. This is my gift to you. Please accept this letter for what it is, the confession of a broken man. I love you, Sara._

_Sincerely,_

_Breidyn Heyward_

Dibs, Alyssa says suddenly. 

Sara looks over at her in outrage. 

If Jim leaves me, Brey is mine. He's totally sincere, Sara; he's not coming back to you.

Sara starts to cry again. 

I had no idea that he was capable of writing something like this, Alyssa continues, ignoring her friend's tears. 

Do you know what Jim wrote me, just in case he didn't make it back from his "vision quest"?

Sara shakes her head no. 

The envelope said "Dearest Alyssa", just like your letter says "Dearest Sara". Only my envelope was empty. 

Sara has her mouth open. 

Just one word was written inside: _Bummer_. 

I don't get it, Sara says. 

Neither did I. But I think he was trying to tell me to move on with my life if something happened to him. I'd rather he would have spelled it out like Brey did for you. 

Sara, I know this isn't what you want to hear, but Brey is an amazing guy. I can only imagine what this cost him.

Alyssa starts to choke up, and Sara hugs her.


	20. After Christmas

**Back on the set of "Snow White & The Seven Dorks"**

Sara walks up to the director. 

I'm ready for the sad scene, sir. Brey broke up with me on Christmas Eve. 

He gives Sara a big hug.

***

You got it on the first take, Sara, he tells her when the scene is finished. But she keeps on crying. Kiera comes over and takes her to her dressing room. 

Brey broke up with me, Sara tells her. 

Dibs, Kiera responds. 

Not you too, Sara cries and laughs at the same time.

***

Ryan sees Kiera on the set, and goes over to her. 

I miss the old Sara; she was so much fun. 

I do too, Kiera admits. Now it's your job to cheer her up, so we can get this final scene over with and this movie wrapped. You'd better figure something out. 

He nods thoughtfully, and walks over to the props manager and starts talking to her.

The next day, they return to shoot the closing scene, where Sara needs to be happy and joyful. But she looks sad and morose. Suddenly, Ryan comes in and starts scattering metal rakes around, the tongs pointed up. 

What are you doing to my set? The director yells at him. 

Practicing. 

For what? 

I'm trying to figure out the optimal placement. 

The cast looks at him like he's lost his mind. 

I'm going to send them to the set of Brey's soap opera in Mexico with explicit instructions on how they are to be spread out. And he deliberately steps on one, and it springs up and whacks him in the face, he backs into another, and it hits him in the back of the head. He runs forward, and whack. Then runs sideways, and whack. 

SARA. He yells. She's clutching her stomach, she's laughing so hard.

Quick, get ready to film this last scene, actors to your marks.

And that's a wrap, the director yells half an hour later. 

Everyone claps, and Sara gives Ryan a big hug. 

Thank you for that.

Did she say something? He asks the director. I just heard birds chirping in an Alpine meadow.

She punches him in the arm. 


	21. Back Up North

**Riverdale,** early January, after the movie is wrapped

Mom, Dad, can I stay here for awhile? I'll pay rent and help do the chores. I just don't want to do anything right now, while I'm dealing with this. They quickly agree. 

The next day Sara decides to go for a walk to her old school, which is in session. She stops by the office, and greets the administrative staff. 

Would it be alright if I walk the halls of my old stomping grounds, while everyone is in class? I'm researching a role, she adds. They eagerly agree. 

She walks over to French class, expecting to hear Mr. Zimmerman correcting some student's pronunciation, but the class is silent, and he's just sitting at his desk with his head down. He looks horrible. The students there are just doing other homework, and some are goofing off. He doesn't seem to notice or care.

Sara goes back to the office. 

What is going on with Mr. Zimmerman? 

Sara, he's got cancer, the secretary whispers to her. He's too weak to teach, but he needs to be a teacher to keep his insurance to pay for the radiation, and since he's got tenure, the principal cannot hire someone else.

Let me talk to the principal, Sara demands. She's shown into his office. 

Principal, I'm here researching a role. I'm thinking about doing Anne of Green Gables, you know, her schoolteacher years. And I was walking by Mr. Zimmerman's class, and I saw how sick he was. I want to be his substitute teacher. I don't need the money. Keep paying him his salary, but let me teach French for the rest of the semester. I'm actually really good at speaking it now.

She abruptly repeats what she's just told him in French.

Alright, Sara, show up tomorrow and I'll introduce you to each of your classes. They shake hands.

When she gets home, Sara calls up Mdms. Sophie at the Northshore Academy, and leaves a message. They talk that evening for several hours about how Sara should structure her lessons.

Stick to the same narrative for each class, but up the ante in what you require from their responses at each level. 

What about showing a movie? 

Sara, your life story is far more relevant and interesting to them than any movie; stick to that. You're going to be an incredible teacher.

The next day, the 9th grade students are shocked to see Sara sitting on Mr. Z's desk, while the principal tells the class that Ms. Fairfax will be filling in for him, and then she shooes him away with a fluent patter of French, as they've practiced beforehand. The class laughs. 

Okay, this is an introductory class. I'm going to theme it "tourist French". I sat where you sat not too many years ago, and I suffered through it because I was determined to have my honeymoon in Paris. 

She sighs dramatically, and the class laughs. 

Now I'm back home because Brey broke up with me. 

The class is shocked. 

Why Sara? 

That's Mademoiselle Sara, to you, and why is the word pourquoi. Say it please. 

They all repeat it.

Now ask me again. 

Pourquoi Mdms. Sara? 

Because he loves me so much that he wants what's best for me. 

Several in the class shake their heads. 

Ah, you disagree with me. How do you express that? 

And she starts to teach them basic phrases, tying them to her life story, and throwing in a few life lessons along the way. 

The principal is waiting outside the door when the bell rings, preparing to introduce her to the next class, and repeat the routine of being shooed away. He overhears one student tell another. 

Mdms. Sara is so cool. This is going to be the best class ever. 


	22. Pinery Lakes

**Cross country ski trail parking spot** , mid January

Sara pulls up in Thad's tan Cadillac and parks near a black Audi with a ski rack on the top. She gets out her snowshoes from the trunk and puts them on. Then slings the old lever action rifle across her back like Thad had shown her, along with a satchel carrying her water and a Powerbar and an apple, and a few paper towels for TP, and a headlamp, just in case. 

She trudges down the groomed trail, which she'll leave once she gets to the highbank. She's determined to snowshoe the Silver River gorge up to the bridge; she made it halfway there yesterday.

Life was slipping by. The local newspaper had run a nice article with her and Mr. Z at his house.

_Sara certainly wasn't my brightest student,_ he told the reporter _. Learning French didn't come easily for her. But she's a hard worker. And she never mouthed off in class; she wouldn't speak unless spoken too. It just amazes me that someone as shy and introverted as Sara could transform into this confident and assertive young actress_ _in the space of a year_ , _and be friends with the President. He called me the other day at home, and asked if there was anything a grateful nation could do for me._ Mr. Z had started to cry. And Sara had cried too and apologized. _I'm so sorry for the hurtful things I said about you in my diary. I didn't know what you were dealing with_. He had patted her hand. _Sara, you have nothing to apologize for. Those were your private thoughts. I'd be in jail if the insurance company executives knew what I fantasied about doing to them_. Sara had laughed. _I'll talk to Toby, and his warriors of ILF will make them see the light, and will probably roast them on a wagon wheel just for spite._ And Mr. Z had laughed so hard. _I love you, Sara. Now will you give a dying man a hug? Cancer isn't contagious._ The front page cover photo of the local newspaper captured the moment.

Now she knew that it was only a matter of time before the media descended on her small town. And that she wouldn't be able to keep it a secret why she was back home. That she couldn't act while she was dealing with Brey leaving her. And she started to cry as she shuffled down the groomed trail, her head down.

Sara, are you alright? 

Sara looks up to see a really fit older couple wearing ridiculous bright spandex ski clothing, stopped in front of her. She sniffles and wipes her eyes, embarrassed. 

I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm just dealing with a lot right now. Thank you for asking. 

We've been hoping for the opportunity to meet you, Sara, and to tell you how proud we are of you. I'm Jonathan, and this is my wife, Anna, the man announces. You've stayed at our lake house before...

Sara looks at them with a blank expression. 

Alyssa's uncle Nelson is a friend, and used it last fall, Jonathan explains. 

Sara gasps. 

You have such a nice house, she exclaims. I have so many fond memories of visiting over there. 

We've made some improvements, since, Anna declares, and I want you to visit us. 

Sara puts her head down, and stares down at the ground. She doesn't want to visit anyone, or even have company. She's told Alyssa and Kiera that she wants to be left alone, and to stop calling her all the time. 

It's the least you can do, seeing that my husband paid for your scholarship to Northshore.

Sara looks up astonished, and Jonathon shakes his head disapprovingly at his wife, who laughs. 

Well, now she's obligated. And I want to visit with her. I know you do too. 

The man skis away, leaving the two girls alone. 

Thank you so much, Sara starts to say, but is interrupted. 

You can thank us by coming over for dinner Friday. 6pm, dear girl. 

Sara nods, and the older lady skis away.

***

Friday evening, Sara is about to ring the doorbell, when Jonathan and Anna open the door. They are shocked to see an obese Indian man with Sara. 

Jonathan, Anna, this is my friend, Thad. I've asked him to come and be my chaperone. 

Sara sighs. It's so good to be back here, and abruptly gives a surprised Anna a hug. 

I'm Thad Longfellow. Teisha and Nyush are my nephews. 

Welcome, sir, and the men shake hands.

The salmon is still baking. Will you join us in the living room? 

When they're seated on the massive new wraparound leather couch, Anna asks, what may I get you to drink? Sara? 

Just tap water is fine.

A Perrier? 

Oh yes, please. 

Thad? 

I'll take a beer, if you've one. 

Wine alright? 

Thad nods. 

Your preference? 

A Malbec. 

I think we have something that you'll like, Anna smiles cryptically.

What do you do for a living, Thad? 

I'm in the merchant marine, I pilot ore boats on the big lake during shipping season, then go into hibernation.

Yourself, Jonathan? 

I'm an investor. 

My nephew Nyush is studying finance in college. Would you have any book recommendations for him? 

Let me think on that.

Anna comes back with three wine glasses, a bottle of Merlot, and a Perrier for Sara.

Before you open the bottle, I need to say something. Sara says. 

Thank you so much. Your scholarship opened up so many possibilities for me. I'm so grateful, and she starts to tear up. I promise to pay it forward. 

She rushes over and kneels down and takes Jonathan's hand and kisses it, and starts to cry, still holding his hand. 

He looks over at his wife, not sure how to handle the weeping girl. He squeezes her hand gently, and pats it.

Doing good is its own reward, Sara. There's no need to thank me. You were never supposed to know. And Nelson should get the credit; he's the one who told us how remarkable you were, and asked the favor. I'm still not sure why he didn't do it himself, Jonathan muses. 

I know why, Sara says, now sitting on the couch next to him, facing the others. 

So he could deny it when I asked him. And thereby always make me wonder who my benefactor was, Great Expectations, and all that. 

The others chuckle at her allusion.

Thank you for telling me, Anna. Now I've got a story to tell you about Nelson, while you guys drink your vinegar, the bottle of which the Dread Sara will open with her teeth, she says, letting go of Jonathan's hand and making a vampire face and showing her claws. 

The others laugh, while Anna pops the cork.

So he's taking me back to the airport after Etiquette Dinner...

The elders are silent when she finishes her story about the bucket of chicken for the sleeping bum. 

He's the most tough-minded man of my acquaintance, Jonathan says quietly. I've known Nelson for ten years, and you just described a stranger to me, Sara.

At the dinner table, Sara and Thad join hands and offer their hands to Jonathan and Anna. 

We're not religious, Jonathan protests. 

Well, we are, and we won't break bread with you if you cannot respect that, Thad replies. 

Fine, Jonathan assents. 

Thad says a brief prayer, then takes over the conversation. 

After a church service we attended, Nelson invited Teisha and I to lunch with him and Alyssa at the Grantham. I asked him if he believed in the power of prayer. He seemed amused by this, and replied that he was more of an agnostic. 

Jonathan gives Anna a knowing look of agreement. 

Then I told him the story of how I came to worship at my local parish. It made an impression on Alyssa, and with your permission, I'd like to tell it now to Sara.

Jonathan nods. 

Thad tells his Vietnam saga, and how he's grateful, and that God answers prayer, but not always in the ways we expect. 

Sara looks over at him when he's finished. 

Will you take me to your church this Sunday?

Thad nods. I'd be delighted, but you should know, I sit in the very front pew.

Oh, I'm used to being a spectacle, Sara grins.

Then Sara tells the story of going to church with Alyssa in Florida, and lets them in on the secret that she paid the pew rent for herself, Alyssa, and Ito for the entire summer. But that her costars had to pay their own, when they started coming too, because they just wanted to meet Alyssa.

She's shocked when the others at the table laugh so hard that tears come to their eyes. 

Why is that funny? The minister said that my being there and being a true friend were honoring to God. 

Thad stops laughing and gets serious. 

But you only heard what you wanted to hear, Sara. He told you it wasn't necessary. 

Sara, pew rent went out in the 1800s; it's something out of Dickens and Austen. When devout people of the Abrahamic faiths do give 10% of their income, it's called a tithe. When you give money voluntarily, it's called an offering. God judges the intent of the heart, and I'm sure He is pleased with your offering, and will bless you immensely for honoring Him.

Sara, we love what you are doing with your life, Anna tells her, changing the subject. That you are volunteering as a substitute teacher to cover for Mr. Z when you could be acting. 

Sara starts to choke up, if you only knew...my plans and dreams are all in ruins. Brey broke up with me, and she looks down at the table, and starts to weep.

The elders give each other a worried glance. 

Sara, you're a wonderful person, and if he's too blind to see that, then good riddance, Anna declares. The others nod.

It's not like that, she says crying. I don't want to explain, but I cannot have you think ill of him, she blubbers. 

She holds up her hand for them to wait, while she tries to regain her composure. 

I'm sorry I'm ruining our meal. I'm a cliché, a comedic actress who cannot stop crying. I couldn't act now even if I wanted to. If I didn't have my students, I'd have no reason to get up in the morning. She sighs. 

I love salmon, it's delicious, she says trying to smile through her tears and change the subject.

Brey wrote me a letter that came on Christmas Eve, she says quietly. He loves me so much that he wants what's best for me. So he's breaking up with me. 

What kind of masochistic...Jonathan starts to say, when Sara cuts him off. 

Please let me finish, sir.

Jonathan shuts up. 

He wants to marry me. But knows it won't work: fame and distance are separating us. He told me that he doesn't want us to be "married singles" like his parents. He wants me to find someone who can anchor me from the shadows, like Alyssa did for me last summer, while I lead a public life as a famous actress.

He asked Nelson what he should do. We both think that he's like the Oracle at Delphi. 

The others laugh. 

You all think you know our story, but you only know bits and pieces. It's so much better than you can imagine. Here's a tease: Nelson brought us together. Do you want to hear it?

The others nod eagerly. 

Well the Dread Sara needs hot chocolate if she's going to tell this as it should be told, in the living room, while she gives a victim a neck massage. Anna's face lights up.

...and then Nelson told Brey: "if you want to help Alyssa, date her friend, Sara". 

The men are thunderstruck at this revelation. Anna is zonked out, while Sara keeps massaging her scalp gently. 

But now I'm going to cut back to the letter, and leave the tale unfinished, so you have to feed Thad and I again if you want to hear the next installment.

Brey wrote that Nelson told him to "take what he wanted, but pay for it". Brey said that he chooses acting, that it's his calling, and that he will not be untrue to himself and chart a different course for me. He said that his letter is his last and most costly gift to me, and it's the confession of a broken man. And if he hears from me within a year, he'll marry me regardless of the consequences to our lives and our careers. 

The men are stunned. 

So now you know why I cry all the time, and why I love him so much.

May the nobility of his heart stay with him always, Thad says finally, and raises his wine glass in a toast. 

Sara starts to tear up again.

***

When Anna wakes up the following morning, she's sleeping on the couch. NO...she cries in disappointment, and then looks over and sees a note on the coffee table. 

_Babe, I'm gone skiing. I've got a lot to think about. Thank you for telling Sara about the scholarship. You made this possible. She and Toby are coming back over after church on Sunday. They invited us to come and sit with them. Your call. _

_Love, Jon_


	23. At the Lakehouse

**Sunday after church**

Sara greets them with a big hug. I love this house. It's where I found my voice. And she tells them the story of the going away party. How Jim had left Alyssa sitting by herself in the driveway, and how she had helped her friend inside and put her to bed. And when she had come downstairs, she was able to be brave and speak to everyone because her friend was hurting and needed her. And how she had summoned over Scott and Tyler and all the guys came. When she had asked for a ride, they all volunteered. But I let Scott take me home, he was so earnest.

And that's why I'm going to buy it from you. The elders smile at her presumption, which Sara takes as disbelief. 

I've got so much money now, she explains indignantly, and my parents and brother won't let me do anything for them. I offered to buy my dad a new pickup, but he said he was happy with his old one. Then I offered to buy him the plumbing business, and he says that he doesn't want the headaches, that he'd rather be an employee. I offered to buy my mom a new car and a new wardrobe, and she said that she didn't want her friends think that she was putting on airs, now that her daughter was a celebrity. I offered to buy my brother a new Harley, and he said that it would just sit in storage next to his old Vmax, that he and his squad are always gone on "training missions" all over the world. 

Then I asked Nelson to let me pay for Alyssa and Scott's college, and he said that Michael already had dibs on Alyssa's college, and that Dev and Raymond were paying for Scott's college. When I started to cry, he offered to invest the money for me. He paid me a really nice compliment, and gave me a hug. Then he told me that I'm going to have to accept that now that I'm famous, people are only going to want me to give them my time. 

And, of course, he's right. I don't even have to buy clothes. All the designers just give them to me to wear. The elders laugh at this.

You men visit, while I give Sara a tour of the house, Anna announces. She leads her downstairs into the finished basement.

Sara gasps. It's totally different. 

I told Jonathan that I wanted a bathroom like the one I read about in your diary, done with cedar. He's so eager to please me, she says, rolling her eyes, and Sara laughs at this gesture.

Anna walks over to a set of doors and presses a button. The doors slide back into recesses in the wall, and Sara follows her inside. It smells so good in here, she exclaims. She walks into a changing room, then sees a waterfall shower over in the corner. Then sees another door, made out of cedar planks. That's a sauna, Anna tells her, a Finnish steam bath. They step inside. You pour water on these rocks and they sizzle and steam comes off them. You sit or lie down on a bench naked and sweat. 

Really? Too European for this girl, Sara declares, and Anna laughs.

You can wear a bikini, but once you get acclimated to the heat, you'll quickly decide to do without. This is my private bathroom...no boys allowed. Jonathan's is much more...shall we say, utilitarian, and they laugh together.

This is how I relax after I get done cross country skiing. And my sweat and cleanse ritual is one of the reasons why I look amazing at age fifty-four, she tells Sara. 

No way you're that old, Sara declares. 

Yep. Now, you are going to be my protégé, and I'm going to teach you how to cross country ski after school. I don't want to see you put on fifteen pounds wallowing around eating donuts in the teacher's lounge. I hate those Hollywood actresses who pack on the pounds for stupid roles, and then starve themselves back to skinny. That is so unhealthy, and that is not going to be you. You are going to stay fabulous, because for the next week, I'm going to be your personal trainer, and you are going to come here after we are done skiing, and use my steam room. Then Jonathan and I are going to Switzerland, and you'll have the place all to yourself, if you want to make use of it. 

Sara starts to choke up, and Anna gives her a big hug. 


	24. Rolling Stone

**Hillsdale College** , early February

The alarm in the dorm room goes off at 5:30am. Scott shuts it off, gets up, and turns on a dim lamp to get dressed. Jim is konked out, a book that his uncle Thad had given him, lies next to his pillow. Scott shuts the door quietly behind him, and walks to the ice rink. 

He lets himself in, as he's got a key from the coach. He practices skating, shooting, and stick handling for the next hour. Then he's off to the cafeteria to meet Jim, whose wheelchair is parked in the lobby. 

Tim hovers nearby, as Jim hobbles over to a random table, and asks if he may join them. A pretty sorority girl brings Jim his breakfast of corn flakes and a banana, and sits next to him while he chats up the table. 

He's the most popular guy on campus, and seems to know everyone by name. Scott shows up, and they head off to Latin class together; Scott pushing Jim's wheelchair until they get inside, then Jim hobbles into the classroom by himself.

At lunch, someone offers Jim the latest issue of **Rolling Stone** magazine. His entire table looks at it with him, as he reads the captions aloud. 

There's a picture of Sara on the cover, sitting in the teacher's lounge wearing a long grey skirt and a white turtleneck sweater, with her hair done up, a pen stuck through it, grading homework. Scott sees that her lightly tanned face has the look of an athlete in training.

_Breakfast at Sara's_

Sara, now back home and living with her parents, is taking a reprieve from her acting career, in order to fill in for the French teacher (Mr. Z is in treatment for advanced cancer) she once labeled as an ogre in her diary.

Sara spends her days in seclusion. The local sheriff picks her up at her parent's house before sunrise and drives her to school, where she teaches high school French, six classes a day. Then she goes cross country skiing in the vast frozen northwoods, coming back to her parent's home after dark. Her only social activity is going to church on Sundays, where she sits in the front row with a large Indian man. 

She reluctantly agreed to answer a few questions over coffee at the local diner before school.

_She walks quickly into the diner and heads right over to my table. She's five minutes early. Good morning, sir. I'm Sara Fairfax. I'm shocked that someone so famous would deign to call me sir. We shake hands: she's got a firm grip, and looks me right in the eye. I tell her to call me Neil. She's bundled up from the cold, and carrying a canvas tote with all her students papers, and other teaching parenphenelia. This girl is ready for winter, she tells me, as she takes off her gloves, hat and scarf, and finally her navy peacoat. She's tall and slender without all the winter wear, and is wearing a white turtleneck sweater and a long grey skirt and Sorel boots. She's not wearing any makeup, and looks really fit. The waitress comes right over. Just coffee for me, I tell the waitress. I'll have coffee too, while I look at the menu. When the waitress leaves, she lets out a deep breath and looks at me seriously._

_Neil, I wore braces through most of high school, so I'm really self-conscious about people watching me eat, especially if they aren't eating too. So please don't just drink coffee while we talk, because I'd really like to get breakfast. The food here is soo good; I already know what I want. She orders a Belgian waffle with strawberries and whipped cream, and asks for a glass of water-with no ice, she adds, smiling at the waitress, who beams at her. I order the same to build rapport. The waitress asks Sara who I am. Neil is a famous writer, she tells her. She gasps, and her face lights up in feigned recognition. She thinks I'm a novelist or a screenwriter here to discuss a movie with Sara._

It is so like her to put the best construction on everything, as I found out interviewing others on background for this article(see the sidebars).

_Do you know her? I ask, when she finally goes away. Sara nods, but doesn't elaborate. Do you know everyone in here? She looks around. This is my hometown, she tells me, and then gets right down to business._

_Neil, I know you have a job to do, so I'll let you get to it. Just don't be offended if I don't answer all of your questions._

She's very assertive, but considerate at the same time.

_RS: Is this how you normally dress for school?_

_SF: Yes. (I can tell she doesn't want to talk about clothes)_

_RS: You look really lean and honed, Sara. Are you in training for an action role?_

_SF: I'm not preparing for a role, Neil. Just my daily sweat and cleanse ritual. I go cross country skiing after school, and then take a sauna. It really helps me clear my mind and keeps me sharp. And I sleep like a log afterwards._

_RS: Your mom says you read lot. What are you reading now?_

_SF: I'm almost finished with The Goal; a novel about operations management. The hero is a plant manager who saves his factory and his marriage by learning...sorry, you were just making small talk._

_RS: You've piqued my interest. How did you find this book?_

_SF: A mentor recommended it. I ask her who, and she doesn't elaborate, other than to say that there is a story there, but since we're on the clock..._

_RS: How did you get your teaching job?_

_SF: I asked Principal Neri for it. And he was kind enough to allow me to research a role for the semester. I've always wanted to be a teacher since I saw Anne of Green Gables._

She's being modest(see the sidebar featuring Principal Neri).

_RS: How is Mr. Z. doing?_

_SF: He's in Italy undergoing an experimental treatment for his cancer. The initial results are promising. I'm praying for him._

_RS: Why are you doing this?_

_SF: I'm good at speaking French. And when I saw a chance to help, I took it._

_RS: Rumors have been swirling about a breakup being the reason you came back home and aren't acting. What's happening with you and Brey?_

_SF: It's true that Brey and I are no longer together. I don't want to talk about it._

_RS: Why?_

_SF: I'm really hurting right now, she says softly. Please, Neil..._

Our food comes, and she digs right in. She's right; the waffle is delicious. She eats slowly, savoring it. And asks me about my story, and how I found my way into doing celebrity profiles. She's easy to talk to, and genuinely interested in hearing about my life. When the waitress comes to refill her coffee, I remember why I'm here. Back to me interviewing you, I segueway.

_RS: Will you talk about your new-found spirituality?_

_SF: I started going to church the past summer with my best friend, Alyssa, just to be there for her, like she's always been there for me. I so admire the choices she's made and the way she's living her life. And I saw God answer our prayers. The old minister said that the best sermons are caught, not taught. So true. Now I go to church locally with Teisha's uncle, Thad, who is so devout and well-read; he's an autodidact and is so wise. He looks just like Ben Franklin when he puts on his reading glasses._

_RS: When are you going to return to acting?_

_SF: There's no rush. My boss, Michael, is very understanding, and my agent, Ari, is encouraging me to take a breather to avoid overexposure. My new movie, Snow White and the Seven Dorks, is coming out on April Fool's day. Kiera and I had such a blast filming it._

Her face lights up for the first time, and it's like the sun has come out from behind the clouds _._

_RS: What do you think about her new career choice, giving up acting for singing?_

_SF: I'm so happy for her._ And I can tell she really is delighted for her friend _. She'd sing and play her guitar for us in the evenings at our trailer on set and everyone would come...it was magical. She has such an amazing voice, and her guitarwork...wow. But she's not giving up on acting just yet. I made her promise me that we'd do at least one more picture together. We shook on it._

_RS: What is the significance of the handshake?_

_SF: Alyssa's uncle taught me that a handshake is more binding than a signature._

_RS: Have you been considering any projects?_

_SF: No. I'm totally committed to teaching my students. It takes me a long time to prepare my lesson plans ...I want them to be as passionate as I am about French._

_RS: When are you going over there, to Paris?_

_SF: Well, let's just say I don't want to go by myself._

_RS: Are there any prospects for a new man in your life?_

_SF: I've kissed dating goodbye._

_RS: What does that mean?_

_SF: Please excuse me, Neil; my ride is ready to go. She points over at the sheriff, who is at the counter paying his check, and getting a cup of coffee to go._

_RS: Sara, you cannot end our interview on that note. Walk toward the light..._

_SF: She sighs. The Dread Sara may be down, but she's not out. Just you wait, Mr. Higgins, just you wait._

Her tote spills when she grabs her winter wear. I'm such a klutz, she says quietly, as if to herself, then thanks me for breakfast, and tells me that she enjoyed talking with me. Then she walked away to join the sheriff. 

She may be the most authentic person I've ever interviewed. She's so warm and caring, even though she's dealing with a breakup. She doesn't pretend to be happy. She only smiled briefly when talking about her friends, and I didn't get to hear her famous laughter. I come away from our brief meeting with an immense admiration for her. 

I call my editor at home, and beg her to send me to Mexico to interview "El Breydon", but she quickly nixes that idea: he only talks to the Spanish press.

I get up to pay the bill, and see that a small notebook is lying on the floor underneath our table. It must have fallen out of her tote. I scramble to pick it up, thinking that now I'll have an excuse to actually see her teach at school. The cover reads, _Sara's Diary, The Winter of Discontent._ I don't hesitate to open it. Inside the initials **QED** are underlined _._ The inscription reads _: Gotcha! But I'd like you to have this to remember me by. Thanks for buying a sad girl a cup of coffee and trying to cheer her up. You're good people, Neil Strauss. Love, Sara._

_I love you too, Sara. –Neil._

Jim and his friends are laughing at Sara's prank on the seasoned reporter. What does QED mean? Tim asks Jim. It's a Latin abbreviation that means essentially, I win, Scott explains to the table, who are surprised to hear the quiet intense hockey player speak. Jim slowly flips through the photo essays, and reads the captions at the bottom of each page.

Picture of Principal Neri, through his opened door, which has the placard with his title on it, sitting at his desk, motioning for an unseen person to come into his office _: To really get who Sara is, you have to understand that all this happened spontaneously; it wasn't planned. She came into the office one day and asked the secretary for permission to wander her old stomping grounds, but then came right back when she saw what rough shape Mr. Z was in, and demanded to see me. She volunteered to fill in for him, without pay, for the rest of the semester, so he could recover from his radiation treatments at home. While I was thinking over the implications, she demonstrated her competence by repeating everything she'd just told me in a patter of fluent French. And so I leapt at the chance to have our most distinguished alumni give back to her school. We shook on it. I'm going to personally see to it that she gets a teaching certificate from the state; she is truly gifted. Her students don't rush out of class at the bell. They linger. In thirty years, I've never seen anything like it._

A picture of a group of teachers looking skeptical, with their arms crossed _: We still remember Sara as a mediocre student, introverted and socially awkward. But she's completely transformed since we last had her in our classes. When we heard about what she was doing, we were concerned that it was just a publicity stunt, and that she wouldn't stick with it. But after she made it through three days without quitting, we invited her into the teachers' lounge for an informal conference, and peppered her with questions. She's so modest and humble. She thanked us for giving her a chance, for not judging her too quickly like she had judged Mr. Z when she was a student, without knowing what he was dealing with. That she understood our concerns: she had just turned nineteen, had no credentials, and wasn't very bright. Then she explained that while no one in her family had ever gone to college, that all Fairfaxes are hard workers and good at what they do. She insisted that she was really good at speaking French, and that her French teacher at the Northshore Academy would vouch for her ability and provide a reference that she was qualified as a substitute teacher. And her goal for the semester was to inspire her students to love French just like Mdms. Sophie had inspired her. That she needed to do this. Please let me keep teaching, she asked quietly. We felt so bad for having thought ill of her, and she won us over, just like that. Now we insist on her joining us in the teacher's lounge instead of eating lunch in her classroom all by herself, like she was doing._

A picture of a large group of 9th Grade students _: Mdms. Sara is so pretty and wears the nicest clothes. She drinks coffee because she's a grown up. She knows all of our names, and makes sure we know everyone else in class too. We're working on learning descriptive adjectives now. She picks a different student each day, and we have to describe him or her well enough to make a wanted poster. Then she picks another student, and we play, I like so-and-so because, and we learn to pay compliments, and see the good in others. She told us how upset she was when her friend Ethan didn't compliment her best friend, Alyssa, when he took her out to Etiquette Dinner, and how we won't make the same mistake, when she comes to visit our class at the end of the school year. I cannot wait to meet her. Tourist French is my favorite class; we have so much fun. –Jody P., 9th grade student_

A picture of a small group of 12th Grade students: _She's tough and demanding; she told us the first day of class that she's not here to be our buddy. She's themed our class "Expatriate French", and we don't speak English at all once the bell rings. We are allowed to pass notes to each other in English though, so we help each other out. There's no curve; the only way we can get extra credit to keep from flunking is to grade the homework and quizzes of the younger grades. It's tedious work, but we really learn the material by catching and then correcting the mistakes of others._

_What makes it worthwhile is that during the last fifteen minutes of class, she tells us stories about how blessed and grateful she is to have such good friends in her life. It's like we get the inside scoop of what happened in her life right after her diary ended. Lately, she's been telling us the story of Ethan, who sat behind her in French class at the Academy. He is such a cool guy; he's studying the classics at Harvard now, and is planning to be a lawyer like his grandfather. All the girls in our class are sending him flowers for Valentine's Day. He'd be such a catch. Of course, all the guys are sending flowers to Alyssa at Wheaton. –Audrey F., senior,_

A picture of Sara getting out of the Sheriff's SUV _: She used to drive this really nice tan Cadillac with tribal plates back and forth to school, until the press got aggressive in the parking lot after school, and made her cry. Now the sheriff gives her a ride. The press must check in at the school office, and aren't allowed to disrupt her classes. We've had to throw several in jail because they wouldn't follow our ground rules, and just had to wade through the deep snow to get pictures of her teaching her students through the windows of her classroom. –Deputy Larson_

A picture of the town council meeting with the tribal elders _: Her being back home has helped mend fences between the Tribe and the locals. She started to take a few of the Indian kids on snowshoeing expeditions on Saturdays. Now the casino lets them use the shuttle bus. She said that real men used to do eighteen miles a day a century ago. They get back really late, but she has her rifle, and the kids pack a lunch, so we're not worried. And everyone knows that there is a platoon of Recon Marines doing winter training operations nearby, although no one ever sees them. –the Mayor_

A picture of her parent's modest house lit up at night in the winter snow: _We're glad she's back home. She insists on paying us rent and helping with the chores. She doesn't watch TV anymore, just reads herself to sleep, after she's done preparing for class. She's asked her friends not to call unless it's important and to only visit on the holidays, so she can concentrate on her teaching. She takes her job really seriously. –Sally Fairfax, her mother_


	25. Meetup

**Up North** , middle of February

It's Alyssa. Her mom tells her, handing her the phone. 

Sara, you're coming down here this weekend. It's all hands on deck. Wheaton is playing Hillsdale on Saturday, and you have to be here to support Kiera, who is flying in from Nashville to cheer on Tim.

Alyssa, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. I'd be a buzzkill. And I've been going to church with Thad on Sundays, and I don't want to miss that. 

You will be here for your friend. Now are you flying or driving? 

Sara sighs. Flying. What do I need to wear? 

It's a hockey game; you could wear a bag over your head and nobody would notice. 

What color bag? Sara asks, and Alyssa laughs. 

Call and tell me what time your flight gets in. My uncle said that he'd like to pick you up, if that's alright.

I suppose. 

Get excited, Sara, this is going to be so much fun. Tim is going to get blindsided.

Is Jim coming? 

Of course, and I finally get to show him off to all my friends, now that he is strong enough to get around on crutches.

Alright, I'll leave Friday after I finish teaching. I'll call you back with my arrival and gate info.

***

Nelson picks up Sara; he's waiting for her at the baggage claim. She gives him a hug, and they walk to the car in silence. He gets the door for her. She thanks him. 

I heard what you're doing up there at that school, and I cannot adequately express...it's truly wonderful. I'm so proud of you, and am delighted that you are my daughter's best friend. 

She looks over at him in amazement, with her mouth open. And he realizes what he's just told her. And he starts to laugh. 

I am getting to be in my dotage, letting something like that slip. Maybe you'll research a role doing risk arbitrage, and cover for a happy but senile businessman. 

Sara laughs. You sly dog, I would have never guessed, but it makes so much sense. Tell it all. 

Sara, he looks over at her seriously, would you like to grab dinner at the Club, where we can talk privately, without being interrupted? She nods eagerly.

***

I've only told this story twice, Nelson tells her. Once to my mentor, and once to Jim and Brey at Thanksgiving. Do you remember the hole in the wall and the empty bottle? She nods. Speaking of Brey, how are you handling that, by the way? 

I'm resigned, she says. I know he's not coming back. But I keep waiting for him to show up unexpectedly and surprise me. And I'd forgive him just like that. Nelson nods. 

The story I'm about to tell you is about forgiveness and second chances. But it gets dark, really dark. Please let me finish telling it, even though you will be tempted to walk out in disgust. But you'll understand why Alyssa can never know that I'm her father. Now, do you know what O.C. stands for...

Sara is still weeping when he finishes the story. You were such a horrible person. How could she ever forgive you? You raped her, after murdering her entire family.

I asked her that once. And she told me that there were only two types of people: repentant and unrepentant sinners. And that we were the former. Alyssa was baptized in that church as an infant, and we both swore to raise her in a Christian home. As you now know, I keep my promises. So I reached out to my old mentor, Mordecai, told him the tale, and he helped place her with a devout, poor but happy, couple in California that had three year old twins the same age. 

Scott and Tyler, Sara says rhetorically. Nelson nods. 

And I showed up with Alyssa, and asked them to take her into their hearts and their home. That money would cease to be a problem. That I would become their estranged uncle, and would assume their family name. That I didn't wish to be involved in my niece's life, only to see that she was secure, and loved, and raised in the faith, which was her mother's dying request. 

They were touched, and agreed to my proposal. I kept my end of the bargain. But money doesn't buy happiness, and they became dependent and miserable, especially as the children turned teenagers. They started to let them run wild and unchecked. The parents eventually stopped going to church all together, lived dissolutely, and then finally separated. 

I was forced to intervene, and became their legal guardian, and they moved to Chicago, and went to the Northshore Academy their junior year. Alyssa met Brey, and fell madly in love. They were the cutest couple. But you know how that story ends, and yours begins.

Why did they come up north? 

The wilderness shooting, remember? 

You killed those people? Sara asks, horrified. Nelson rolls his eyes and chuckles. 

Those days are long behind me, Sara. I've been a legitimate businessman for fifteen years now, although I do act as an honest broker and arbitrator on occasion. Being O.C. is like being famous, you cannot just step away. I'll let you in on the big secret, which will make you look at your diary in a whole new light. 

The meeting at the old abandoned gravel pit was a major drug deal gone bad. A briefcase of illicit pharmaceuticals were to be exchanged for a duffel bag full of cash. But all the participants were dead. The briefcase and duffel bag gone. Both parties retained my services to investigate, and gave me ninety days to make my findings and assign fault, before they went to war. I tracked down the briefcase right away; it had a lojack embedded into it as a security precaution. My associates set up surveillance for a week, but without any results. 

Any guess as to where it was? She shakes her head no. 

The woodshop fire. Sara gasps.

Someone clever had tied a fishing line attached to a boat flare as a booby trap in a secret compartment where the briefcase was stashed. But the contents were undamaged, and returned to one of my clients, who was satisfied, but still wanted an explanation of the negative outcome of the transaction. And the other client wanted his money and the same.

So it was either faculty, staff, or a student. Enter my Alyssa, Scott, and Tyler. They were getting a little too wild, so I thought a change of scene might be helpful, and it might check them to be given some responsibility, and to learn how I made my money back in the day. They would be able to mingle and ask questions without suspicion. 

I told them I wanted them to live a Beverly Hills lifestyle and that they had to maintain a Vanity Fair image. I wanted them to see how hollow that was, and also see if any of the students at your school tried to keep up. Alyssa got her Jeep. She was so disappointed that I wouldn't get her a dog as well. 

A German Shepherd, Sara interjects, laughing. 

Tyler got his motorcycle, after he promised me that he'd wear a helmet. And Scott got his Bowflex machine. Sara rolls her eyes. 

You know he's been in love with you from the first day of school, right? You are why he gave up drinking and partying, and started to take his studies seriously. Why he didn't go to Etiquette Dinner, or Senior Prom. Why he went to California last summer and this past Thanksgiving. 

Sara is shocked. I knew he liked me, but I had no idea that...and she shuts up.

But back to the tale. Can you guess who were our main suspects? 

Teisha and Nyush, Sara deduces. 

Now do the pieces start to fall into place? 

Sara nods. 

Nyush spooked me after we played chess. I couldn't believe that an Indian boy could be that brilliant; he had to be a just an amateur pushing pieces. So I decided to set a jealousy trap for him, and asked Tyler to let his friend Brey know that Alyssa had a beau and was going to Homecoming. And you know the rest.

No, I don't. Why did you pull them out of school in the middle of the semester? I thought it was because their parents got back together, she questions him. He shakes his head no. 

Nyush insisted on it. Part of his deal for handing over the cash. 

He had it? Sara asks, amazed. 

Stored under the altar of his church, the whole time. He and Teisha were out poaching deer and saw the entire event unfold; Nyush even gave the last rites to one of the dying men. 

His letter to me explaining what happened was one of the most concise, well-written documents I've ever seen. 

He's incredibly smart, likely Mensa - a genius in other words, Sara, and I'm not saying that because he's courting my daughter. He said that he'd return the cash when I sent Scott, Tyler, and Alyssa back to the Academy, and shame on me for bringing them into this. 

Sara is shocked.

When I posted bail for him to get out of jail, I offered to get him a full scholarship to the Academy. He looked at me really seriously. _Are you testing me?_ He asked. Then he thought about it, and finally said that he'd like to see you get this scholarship, if that was possible. 

Sara starts to choke up, and bites her lip.

They pick at their food, which has gone cold. Sara flags down the waiter. He's surprised when she asks him for a doggie bag. It's too delicious to throw away, she tells him. When he leaves, she asks Nelson: what else don't I know? 

You know that Teisha was madly in love with you, right? She's silent. His nervous breakdown was contrived by Jim and Sonya. He was furious when his aunt and uncle insisted he had to play for the governor, who had read about you wanting him to play for you in your diary. Sara blushes. 

He obeyed them, but covered a heavy metal song from a band named Korn. And passed it off as "The Wolf Hunt", a composition by a fictitious insane Russian composer, Victor Nabokov. Nelson laughs, and Sara joins him. Only Sonya caught it, turns out that is her favorite band. Nelson shakes his head. She told Jim and he came up with a plan on the spot. She would rush over, close the piano, and slap him hard, then burn the sheet music. While Jim would escort his troubled brother away into another room, so he could rest. Teisha started to convulse after the song was over, trying not to laugh at how gullible high society was. And Jim's plan worked perfectly. Nelson chuckles, then adds: the Russians ended up filing a formal protest with our State Department for the wanton destruction of a national treasure. 

But why keep up the ruse, and pretend to have a nervous breakdown? Sara asks. 

They convinced Teisha that he should use his supposed breakdown as a chance to reinvent himself. That silent and angry T. would never get back together with Sara. But he knew that he had lost you to Brey and was hurting so much. He was using tennis as an outlet to vent his anger and frustration and hurt, but it wasn't enough. 

Jim and I planned the tennis benefit during Spring Break as a way for him to get closure with you. He faked the sprained wrist so you wouldn't be able to compete against him. Both of you have the killer instinct on the court; it would have been ugly and ended badly. Alyssa insisted that this benefit have a gala afterwards, so she could have another chance at Jim. 

Sara smiles at this tidbit. 

Then T. played the jig from the dance scene of 'Last of the Mohicans' as a swan song for you, to let you know how he felt.

Sara starts to tear up. 

But he's with Sonya now, and that ship has sailed. So the Dread Sara needs to rally her spirits once more. If Teisha did that for you, you can do that for Brey.

I'll try, she says. 

Sara, if I may, a word of advice. Use the thought experiment, "just for today". Just for today - I'll walk tall, smile and be cheerful, make a few jokes, and be there for my friends. And soon enough, the pretense will become a reality.

Now about Brey. Alyssa told me the jist of his letter to you, and how much that cost him. I'm sure he's pleased with how you are helping your former high school French teacher, but he's probably confused by it too. _Is she signaling that she's willing to step back and give up her dreams for me?_ Of course, you're just trying to cope, and being other-directed, which is true religion. 

Sara, what I'm trying to say is that Brey is going to need to see that you've got your joy back before he can move forward too.

Any more questions, Sara, for the horrible monster?

Just one. But that's not who you are anymore, Sara tells him. Eliyahu became Uncle Nelson, just like Nyush became Jim.

I never thought of it that way before, Nelson says - impressed by her insight. 

Now, may I stay at your house tonight? I want to process all this, and make sure I don't blurt out something to Alyssa. 

He nods and they get up to leave. Several of the club members break decorum and stare at Sara, and then whisper and point. Nelson chuckles to himself. 


	26. The Hockey Game

**Early Saturday afternoon**

Sara doesn't draw any attention as she walks into the hockey arena, Nelson having just dropped her off in his black BMW. 

I'll get the highlights from my photographers, he told her, after having explaining that he doesn't enjoy being a spectator. 

She's wearing an adorable homemade knit white watch cap that she has pulled down to her eyebrows and which covers her ears. She wades through the packed crowd at the concession stand, excusing herself in French, until she makes her way into the cold of the arena, and walks along the edge of the rink, and scans the rowdy crowd for Alyssa and her friends. 

Alyssa appears out of nowhere and they give each other a fierce hug, then Alyssa takes her up into the stands. 

We've been here for hours, just to get prime seats, Alyssa yells.

Sara demands to sit on the other side of Jim, up against the railing. He stands up easily using his crutches so as to let her by, and puts his good arm around her shoulders. She gives him a long hug, and starts to tear up. He looks over at Alyssa, who shrugs. 

It's great to see you again, Sara. I hope we can talk after the game. Sara nods, and finally lets go of him and takes her seat.

Which numbers are Scott and Tim wearing on their jerseys? 

Tim is #6; Scott is #13. 

Sara bites her lip to keep from smiling, but then bursts out laughing. Really?

He's majoring in history, remember? Caesar's 13th Legion changed the course of Western Civilization. 

But it's unlucky, Sara protests.

C'mon Sara; superstition is an affront and a reproach to God, Jim says in a disappointed tone.

***

Both teams line up at center ice, and take off their helmets. It's then that Kiera steps out onto the ice. Tim suddenly skates over from where he was standing with his team, and she holds unto his arm as they make their way up to the announcer. 

The announcer tells everyone to please rise for the singing of the national anthem. Kiera surprises everyone by singing, "My Country Tis of Thee" instead, and the audience, as well as the giant hockey player, have tears in their eyes by the time she's finished, and he escorts her back off the ice to a standing ovation. Ruth goes to bring her up to their seats.

Sara looks for, and eventually sees Nelson's photographers in the shadows. Then she watches Scott intensely during Kiera's song. His face is still too lean, but he's now lost his deep tan. He doesn't look at Kiera as she sings, just stares up at the flag. 

As the game starts, she sees that he's on the second line, playing left wing. He skates well enough, but not gracefully, stops by crashing into the boards and the other players, and leans on his stick too much. The other team pummels him relentlessly, and keeps knocking him down, but he gets back up quickly, and never throws off his gloves to fight, like her brother would have done. 

The game is close. 2-2 going into the third period. Hillsdale gets a powerplay, and Scott is racing down the ice with the puck, his head down, when a Wheaton defender lays him out in a fantastic mid-ice full body check. The audience rises to their feet and cheers raucously in approval, but abruptly groan and sit back down as Tim scores.

Alyssa looks over at the sudden movement on her left, and sees Sara hanging off the railing, who then leaps down unto the crowd below. A few guys help catch her, and break her fall. And then she's rushing to the door of the ice rink. It's only then that Alyssa sees her brother lying still on the ice. The other players have taken a knee, as the coaches come out from the benches to have a look.

The audience sees a crying girl in a white hat, an old purple hoodie sweatshirt and faded jeans, wearing Sorels, rush out onto the ice, and slide up to Scott. She kneels alongside him and starts blubbering, and cradles his head with one hand, while running her fingers through this sweaty hair after taking his helmet off gently. It's only when she takes off her hat to put it under his head, that the audience realizes that it's Sara.

Please get up, Scott. Please get up. It's me, Sara. And she kisses him. Please, Scott. I love you. 

He blinks his eyes and sees Sara's crying face looking down at him. He smiles at her, still dazed. 

Don't cry, Sara, I'm alright. Just give me a minute. 

You are so brave, she tells him. But you have to learn to skate with your head up.

You'll have to teach me, he tells her with a big grin. 

The coaches walk over, and ask him if he can get up. 

I'm not sure I want to, he tells them, as he keeps smiling at Sara. They chuckle at this. 

An athletic trainer comes over, and checks Scott's eyes for signs of a concussion. Look at me, he tells him, how many fingers am I holding up? Scott ignores him, and keeps on smiling at Sara. Who grins back at him through tears, and holds up her hand with two fingers crossed. 

Not sure if that's one or two, he laughs. 

He's fine, the trainer sighs, and Tim helps him to his feet. He slowly skates over to the bench, his arms around his coach and Sara. The audience claps heartily, and all the players beat their sticks on the ice and the boards. Tim gives him back his gloves and stick and hemlet, which he puts on, as he takes his seat on the bench, among his teammates. 

A referee comes over and brings Sara her white hat, which she puts back on. Sara spends the remainder of the game behind the bench, standing next to the coach, yelling encouragement. 

Kiera and Alyssa are both crying. Alyssa whispers to her: he's been in love with her since the first day of school up north. Now let's get Tim for you, and our triumph will be complete.


	27. Years Later

**At the Lodge on Pinery Lake**

Three couples are sitting over the edge of the porch, watching the sunset over the lake, drinking wine. A little girl runs out with a slightly older boy. 

Mama, may I go fishing with Toby? 

Sure, Elle, Sonya tells her. 

Try and be back before twilight, Jim tells his son. Your aunt is going to tell us a story around the campfire. His eyes light up and he gasps in delight. And he and his cousin rush off to go fishing. 

I wonder if Scotty will get back in time with those venison backstraps; I like my meat, Sara announces. The others chuckle.

So Ethan, I heard that you turned down an offer to become Michigan's attorney general, Jim mentions. 

How could you possibly know that? Ethan says. Yes, it's true, he tells the others. I don't want my wife to have to give up her teaching job at our school, and I'm content with being a circuit court judge. We're country folk. Sara rubs his back.

Brother, I've gotta ask, Teisha says suddenly. Why do you have those Mary Jane Phillips romance novels hidden away in the top corner of the bookshelf in the living room? They're so disturbing and smutty, and certainly not something I'd want my daughter to read, when she gets older. 

I've heard about them, Sara says in a shocked voice, and looks over at Jim, but he's looking at Alyssa.

Should I tell them? He asks her. She shrugs. 

The author is a legacy client of Jim's, one of his earliest backers when he left Berkshire. But now it's getting a little uncomfortable, because she signs the books she gives him so intimately. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was having an affair. 

Jim gives her a look of disappointment. 

You insisted that I keep her on as a client. 

Well, I feel sorry for her.

Why? Ethan asks. 

She's like a modern-day Emily Dickinson; a wealthy recluse who lives alone with her German Shepherd, and you know how I always wanted one growing up. 

I love her books, Sonya says. I cannot wait till the next one comes out. 

She sends me pre-release copies to the office, Jim admits. I just got the latest; it's called Love's Tears. She inscribed it " _you're my muse_ ". 

Everyone laughs at this, except for Alyssa, who is fuming. 

Have you read it? 

Really, Sonya? 

You're ducking, you have read it, Sara shrieks with laughter. 

He doesn't say anything, and looks down at the ground below. Alyssa is furious. 

Really, Jim? I don't interest you anymore now that I've had two of your children, and another is on the way? 

The others are shocked, both with the news that Alyssa is pregnant, and that she's so upset.

Get rid of her. I don't want her as your client anymore. 

Everyone looks over at Jim. Who takes a deep breath. 

Alyssa, I can't. I'm in love with her. 

Sara is furious and grabs his shirt collar at the back of his neck, and starts to pull and twist it. 

Let him go, Sara. Alyssa commands. Do it. And she reluctantly lets go. 

Now we're going to keep this a secret between all of us. And she suddenly beams at Sara. I'm Mary Jane Phillips. Gotcha! And she gives Jim a passionate kiss. 

Alyssa Mae, Sara gasps in a shocked whisper.

***

As twilight fades into darkness, Sonya asks Sara abruptly. I've always wanted to know what you told Brey the night he moved out. Now I think I've got enough wine in you from our vineyard in California. The others laugh nervously. Seriously, she continues, would you satisfy my curiosity?

I'll only speak ill of James Bond, Sara replies. I loved Brey. But I knew he had lost himself in that role. James Bond gave me an ultimatum that last evening as we sat around the council fire: tell me the story of the ambush or we're through.

I thought radical honesty might save our marriage. So I told him the truth. But James Bond couldn't handle it.

I never slapped him physically, she adds. That was a noble lie. But he got the war he deserved, and I left him there, shell-shocked, staring into the fire.

You all want to know what happened? Dead silence. They hear the kids coming in from the lakeshore. 

I'll tell you, she says after awhile. Scott died instantly; I killed those four men myself.

Her listeners are stunned. Jim starts to weep and Alyssa hugs him. 

I'm not a Barbie doll, Sara says finally. Then she yells brightly to Elle and Toby: 

_Are you ready for story time with the Dread Sara?_


End file.
